Opheliac
by cupid-painted-blind
Summary: Ozai may not be able to bend, but he's hardly powerless. Desperate to stop his father before civil war breaks out, Zuko is forced to turn to the only person who can possibly outsmart him: Azula. / Sokka/Azula.
1. i'm your opheliac

**opheliac**  
(i-i'm your opheliac)

At the prodding of his sister, his girlfriend, and all but one of his friends, he visits Azula. He's the last to do so, and judging from the stories he's heard about the other visits (she scorched half of Ty Lee's braid off, attacked Mai with her own knives, refused point-blank to acknowledge Zuko's presence, glared at Aang until he finally left, leveled some kind of ancient Fire Nation curse on Suki and all of her future progeny, and ended up in a shouting match with Katara so vehement that she had to be sedated and Katara spent a full week fuming over it), he does not have high hopes for his own visit.

"What _is _it with you people?" she growls when he walks through the door. "Am I some kind of sideshow freak you enjoy prodding at? Does it make you feel better to see how far I've fallen? What the hell do you want?"

"Nothing really," Sokka answers, lounging in the chair, "but my sister threatened me with some really nasty stuff if I didn't come visit, so here I am. Just ignore me, I'll ignore you, and then I can get her off my back. Deal?"

"Why should I help you?" she asks angrily, twisting her hand into the bed sheets and wishing that the stupid nurses hadn't been feeding her bending supressants. It would feel so, so good to watch him scream and writhe and flail desperately while trying to avoid the flames.

Sokka shrugs, apparently aware that she can't burn him to a crisp. "I can talk to the nurses and get you some more freedom? Or your brother, I guess, because it's up to him, right? So, be nice to me today and, I dunno, maybe you can go outside tomorrow. How's that sound?"

"Not good enough." She watches him carefully. Objectively speaking, he's handsome - for a Water Tribesman, that is. And he's much friendlier than the rest of them, or at least, he's more honest, and it's refreshing to meet someone who's honest after all this time. He groans.

"Come on, what do you want?"

_Company_, she thinks, _for someone to just sit here and talk to me like a friend rather than a lunatic_. But she won't tell him that. He doesn't need to know. "I don't know," she replies, "what do you have that I might want, hmm?"

He watches her carefully, and then shrugs. "Look, I'll talk to your brother and see what I can get for you. I don't know yet what that'll be. What do you want?"

She yawns pointedly and crosses her arms. "How long do you have to be here before you can escape and tell your sister that I'm an incurable maniac who made your life hell?" She half-expects him to deny that he's planning to do this, but instead, he tilts the chair back on two legs and props his feet up on her bed, much to her frustration.

"An hour, maybe? I've got to make it look like I tried."

His honesty is nice, but it only highlights the wall between them, and makes her feel lonelier. "Oh, just go away. They won't care."

He raises an eyebrow. "You've met my sister, right? She's got it into her head that we all need to make sure you... what did she say? 'Realize that we're on your side now' and 'want you to recover as fast as possible.' Yeah, I think that was it. And, apparently, to her, that means sitting here and hugging you or something." He examines his fingernails, and then looks up at her. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not hugging you."

"Likewise," she sneers.

Silence stretches between them. For a long moment, she simply watches and waits for him to do something, and it seems like he's doing the same thing. Finally, he sighs.

"Oh, fine. How are you, Azula? Doing well?"

She scoffs. "I'm _great_," she replies coldly. "I just love it here in the madhouse, where I'm not allowed to bend and everyone flinches at the sight of me, and where I can't even get a decent cup of _tea_ because I'm supposed to be recovering from some kind of terrible disease of the mind." She smiles as sweetly as possible. "I'm so glad to be here, where I'm not a menace to society. And that freedom nonsense just wasn't for me anyway."

"I get it," he says, making a face. "No need for sarcasm. It was just a question."

"It was a _stupid _question," she answers angrily. "Of _course_ I'm not doing _well. _ Idiot."

"I'm not an idiot," he replies testily, glaring. "I was trying to be nice."

"I don't want your kindness."

"Fine," he says, "I'll remember that. I hope you never get out of this place. The world is a safer place now that you're holed up in here. I can actually sleep at night, knowing that you aren't going to show up out of the blue and kill me while I'm sleeping. It's fantastic. My life is fantastic. Enjoy your stay."

He doesn't stand to leave, however, because he hasn't been here long enough. His words hit her like a slap in the face, but she's glad for it; hatred and fury she's good at, kindness she can't work with. "Oh, don't you worry," she says, smiling venomously, "I can still kill you in your sleep. Just give it a little time."

"Burn in hell."

She laughs outright at this. "Oh, I plan to. But first, I plan to make everyone around me miserable. Doesn't that sound _fun?_"

"Do you _enjoy _being a psychotic bitch?"

The joke is no longer funny. She glares at him, something unwanted rising in her chest, something that feels oddly like shame and hurt. She swallows it down, hard, and smirks falsely, "Maybe I love it. Maybe it's the most fun a girl can have."

"Thought so," he replies coolly, and she almost - almost - wishes that he had seen through her, that _someone _would see through her. But he doesn't, and no one else does, and all she feels is lonely, again.

"How's your family?" she asks, a burning need to make him _hurt _running through her veins, and without her firebending, her tongue is all she has. "Sister doing well? Father? Mother - oh, that's right... She's _dead_, isn't she? My countrymen killed her in cold blood - get it? Because it's _cold _in the Southern oceans where her bones are being picked apart by bottom-feeders."

Something glints in his eyes, but he counters her deftly. "Oh no, let's talk about _your _family. Your brother's got the throne you fought so hard for, your father is in jail, and oh! Your mother abandoned you. Isn't that nice?"

She grinds her teeth furiously, and forces a smile. She will not lose this fight. "I'll bet he laughed when he killed her, you know. Some stupid, weepy, pathetic peasant - to the leader of the Southern Raiders, she must have seemed so insignificant. Like a fly, to be swatted away. I'll bet she _cried_."

"At least my mother loved me," he responds coldly, striking her deep. She can't come up with a reply to him this time. He's won, and he knows it. He smirks at her, without any warmth or humor, and stands up to leave, bowing sardonically. "Have fun, Azula. May your days be long, and may you never leave this place."

She grins savagely. "And may your days be long and filled with fire," she replies, and he sneers.

* * *

A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it started to get away from me in part two, so I decided to expand it into a full fic. This part mostly just sets up the situation and the relationship. The plot hook comes in the next chapter. Tell me what you think. Also, the title and chapter titles are from the song "Opheliac" by Emilie Autumn.


	2. i've been so disillusioned

**opheliac**  
(ii-i've been so disillusioned)

"Oh, _Agni_, not you again."

Sokka, with a sour look on his face, sits in the same chair he sat in three weeks ago. She had thought that she was done with him and his... everything. Instead, here he is, glaring at her like this is all her fault.

"My sister seems to think that I didn't _try_ hard enough."

"To do what?" she laughs. "Save me?"

He shrugs. "Apparently. Because that's _totally _my job."

She rolls her eyes, and they sit in silence for a long moment. "So," she begins, "how have you been?"

He makes a face. "Fine," he grits through clenched teeth. "Just fine, thank you."

"This nasty tension isn't going to work," she says bluntly, crossing her arms in annoyance. "Just talk about anything, I don't care."

"I'm not telling _you _anything," he replies. "You'll just twist it around to hurt me."

"Oh, Sokka," she gasps, "You know me so well! I'm flattered, truly!" There's a beat, and she finally growls. "Fine, if you won't talk, I will. There's a boy here who swears that he's the reincarnated spirit of Agni, and insists that everyone treat him like a god. Isn't that funny?"

"No," he answers coldly. "It's sad."

"Nonsense," she says flippantly. "It's _hilarious_. He trots around like he owns the world, when in reality, he's just a helpless little peasant who's so caught up in his imagination that he can't see the truth. And me, I'm _actually _one of Agni's line, and he expects me to bow to him? How amusing."

Sokka does not miss the barb in her words, but he doesn't comment on it. "How amusing is it, Azula? You take pleasure in watching other people fail?"

"Yes," she replies immediately.

"Why is that?"

She doesn't want to answer him. The truth looms over her head - because, for most of her life, someone else's failure meant her success. It's why she kept Zuko around for so long; next to him, she _glowed_, and that was necessary to her advancement. But here, her success and failure are based only on what she can or cannot do, and it's both a foreign sensation and terribly unwanted. She is good at making other people fail, but succeeding on her own terms is more difficult.

"Because it's so funny to watch them crash to the ground," she answers, gritting her teeth.

"Did you laugh when it happened to you?"

"I did," she replies defiantly. "The irony was almost disgusting."

"Liar," he says lightly, with more than a little vindication. She takes a deep breath.

"One day," she says in a low, calm voice, "I'm going to get out of here, and I'm going to make you pay."

"For what?" he laughs, "For calling you out on your crap? That's hardly fair."

"Since when have I ever been fair?"

"All right, then. That's not sporting, and you Fire Nation people are all about honor."

She snorts. "My brother is all about honor. _I _am all about _winning_."

He watches her carefully, and then says, in a strange voice. "Aang should have done to you what he did to your father."

All amusement falls from her face, and is replaced with an ugly look. "Now, _that's_ cruel."

"Hardly," Sokka says lightly. "It's fair, isn't it?"

"No," she replies coldly. "It's the farthest thing from fair you can possibly imagine."

He blinks in surprise. "You think that it was crueler than killing him?"

"Yes," she answers immediately. "It's hard for non-benders to imagine. Think of it like this - what if I cut off your arms but left you otherwise alive and well? You would never be able to fight again, you would never be able to - actually, imagine I cut off your arms _and _your legs," she says, agitated. "You would never fight, never walk, never be independent or free or strong ever again. You would go from being who you are today to a - a _burden_, something others have to take care of, unable to take care of yourself or do anything for yourself ever again. Now, is that crueler or kinder than killing you outright?"

"I... see," Sokka says slowly, but Azula isn't finished.

"And apparently the _Avatar _doesn't see it that way, but I guess that's what you get when you expect an immature, sheltered _boy _to do anything outside of his comfort zone."

"Hey!" he shouts, angrily. "Don't talk about him like that! Aang did the kindest thing he could!"

She laughs bitterly at this. "Oh, that's _rich,_ that's really great. You're so blind."

"How am I blind?" he asks, on-edge.

Azula rolls her eyes and huffs a heavy sigh. "The Avatar knows nothing of kindness," she begins, but Sokka cuts her off with a loud bark of a laugh.

"You're wrong. He knows _too much _about kindness, if you ask me."

"No," she replies firmly, feeling far more like herself again. "He doesn't. In order to understand kindness, you must also understand cruelty. A boy who lives in a world where everyone loves him and coddles him and protects him cannot understand evil, and thus he cannot understand true good." She has him now; his eyes are uncertain, and he looks very ill at ease. She continues, "It's the same way that you can't understand light if you don't also understand darkness. The Avatar is a _child_. He thinks that murder is the ultimate evil, which anyone who knows _anything _will tell you: there are far, _far_ worse things you can do to a man than kill him."

She pauses and lets that sink in for a moment. "In fact," she says softly, "I would argue that the Avatar - because of his lack of understanding - did the worst, most stupid thing he could have possibly done to my father. And I don't say that out of love, but out of _strategy_."

"How do you mean?" he asks, a terrible fear crawling up his spine. Azula leans back.

"Think about it. By removing his bending but leaving him alive, he has given his worst enemy a reason to pursue a personal vendetta against him. And believe me, firebender or no, my father is a force to be reckoned with. He has allies out in the city and countryside, and he _will _contact them. They _will _try - and probably succeed - to free him from prison and place him back on his throne. He doesn't need to bend to be dangerous, and your precious Avatar has given him a reason to _hate_ - and, I might add, a damn good reason, the kind of reason that others will agree with. Especially firebenders. They'll side with Father not only because they believe in him, but they'll also call the Avatar cruel and heartless for condemning Father to a fate worse than death.

"In - what was it? - _spirit-bending_ Father's abilities away, the Avatar has created his worst possible enemy, and given him a reason to seek revenge."

Sokka is clearly having trouble breathing. "Why," he begins hoarsely, "are you telling me this? Don't you want to break out of here and side with him?"

She hesitates at this, and thinks about it. "Yes and no," she replies slowly, and then makes a face. "Without being able to bend, Father would need an heir to place on the throne. That could, in theory, be me." She lets out a deep breath and examines the underside of her uneven bangs, idly thinking that it's about damn time for them to even out. "But... I don't think he wants me on the throne. I'm too powerful." She smiles bitterly. "He'll want a puppet-ruler, someone he can control, and if he knows anything, then he should know that isn't me. At least, not anymore."

"So..." Sokka says, and she can see him planning already how to take care of this new threat, "he'll want to find someone with a legitimate claim to the throne, but weak enough to be manipulated. Who would that be?"

She laughs outright at him. "Who do you think? The child Avatar, of course."

Sokka makes a face. "He wouldn't go that route. He knows that Aang won't ever side with him, and besides, didn't you say that Ozai hated Aang and wants revenge?"

"And what better revenge than turning him into a pawn for his war?" She raises an eyebrow. "Think about it for a moment, idiot. The Avatar's whole shtick is no-killing, all-life-is-sacred - the ultimate revenge would be to corrupt him from the inside-out and make him place something - _anything _- over his own morals. Breaking the Avatar and destroying his ideals, that's what I would do if I were in his position. And as for the Avatar never siding with him," she snorts. "You think my father can't manipulate him? All he has to do is plant some damning evidence against Zuzu, make him out to be a terrible person who has done terrible things - which is easier than you think it is, by the way - and play the reformed criminal thing. The Avatar's a pushover for that sort of trick. He'll fall, and easily."

Sokka is gaping at her now, horror spelled clearly over his face. He blinks several times and swallows hard. "And what about you?"

"Me?" she says, musing, feeling slightly sick as she contemplates the possibilities. "Well, I'm in here, so he'll probably try to claim that I'm unfit to rule and should thus be stricken from the line to the throne. Or, he'll have me killed." She shrugs. "He'll have to get rid of me somehow, and I think it's safer for me to play crazy and bide my time until I can take the throne from him." She smiles bitterly. "After all, the game is only over when you're dead. Until then, it's fair game."

He's shaking visibly, and she knows that he's going to rush out of here and tell her brother everything that she's told him here. He's trying to wrap his mind around it, probably already mentally preparing himself for full-out civil war. He says something under his breath, and then looks up. "Can I trust you?" he asks suspiciously.

"To do what?" she counters. "I don't have anything to gain by lying to you, if that's what you mean. In fact, it's to my advantage to keep Zuzu on the throne. He's far less powerful than Father would be, and frankly, the idea of facing down both Father _and _the puppet-Avatar wearies me, so you don't have to worry about me siding with them, no."

"So you'll help us?"

She shrugs. "For now. As long as it suits me, of course."

"And when it doesn't?"

"Well, then," she says, smiling like a tiger-shark, "that'll be a _fun _day, won't it?"

He leans back in his seat, crossing his arms, guarded and afraid (although he's trying to hide it), "You always lie. How can I ever know if you're telling the truth?"

"Everything I've said makes logical sense. You're supposed to be the smart one, aren't you? I haven't told you anything you couldn't have figured out yourself if you had just a little more experience with people."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugs noncommittally, "I'm a people person, is all. I understand how they work and what they'll do. It's what makes me so good at my job. People are terribly predictable, even if they think they aren't, and especially if they're as naive as the Avatar or as single-minded as my Father." She peers at him curiously. "I think we're alike in that."

"I'm nothing like you," he says coolly, as he stands to leave. She laughs and examines her fingernails.

"Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

* * *

A/N: Now you see where this is going. Honestly, I really think Aang was an idiot in the finale, for many of the reasons Azula states. Seriously, Ozai's not incapacitated just because he can't bend. He's still a shrewd leader and he's still a huge threat and he no doubt has supporters all through the Fire Nation. There's no way he's down for the count. Also, in this story, as opposed to others of mine, I'm taking the position that Azula simply had a psychotic break in the finale, and will recover in time. She's still vulnerable here, but far more like herself.


	3. i know you'd take me back

**opheliac**  
(iii-i know you'd take me back)

Three days later, Sokka comes to release her from the mental institution, and personally escorts her to the palace, wreathed in veils on a palanquin with opaque curtains - their shameful secret weapon. It almost feels good.

He tells her to wait in an antechamber outside of the council room, and she does so almost lazily, leaning against the wall and listening to the argument going on within - it seems that Sokka has managed to get Zuzu on his side, but the others aren't so sure.

"I just don't think it's as big a problem as you're making it out to be," the Avatar is saying, and she wonders - not for the first time - how such a stupid child could possibly be taken so seriously. "Ozai can't bend anymore, and he's locked up tight in prison. He can't escape, and even if he did, he couldn't do anything."

"I don't hold to that," Sokka says uneasily, no doubt recalling their conversation. "I think he's still a danger."

"We aren't executing him!" the Avatar insists. "I won't allow it!"

"Then what do you suppose we do?" Sokka asks, matching the Avatar's stubbornness. "Dance around him with a bunch of flowers and music and try to convince him that he should join our side? Yeah, that'll work. Ozai is dangerous, and he needs to be taken care of. Preferably before he breaks out and starts a civil war."

"He won't have that much support," the waterbender girl says. "The Fire Nation is firmly on Zuko's side now."

Another voice enters the fray, making Azula's blood run cold for a second. "And they were firmly on Ozai's side just two months ago," Mai says. "Popular opinion is fickle. We shouldn't trust it."

"But they won't revolt against their Fire Lord, will they?"

"That depends," Zuko says darkly, "on who they call Fire Lord."

An uneasy silence descends. She examines her fingernails, and wishes briefly for nail polish and a good bath. "Where did you come up with this theory, anyway?" the waterbender asks. "Did it just come to you?"

Sokka coughs, and then opens the door. The light is blinding, and she hears Mai gasp when she walks in the room. Everyone stands, on-edge, except for Sokka and Zuko, who simply gestures to a chair, which she takes daintily.

"Azula?" the waterbender cries. "You're trusting _Azula_ about this?"

"Who else?" Sokka counters. "She knows Ozai better than any of us, even Zuko! If anyone can help us, it's Azula."

"And then stab us in the back!" she shouts.

"Not really," Azula adds lightly. "It doesn't suit me to kill you."

"How so?" the Avatar asks, clutching his staff. Azula sighs.

"You're all idiots, aren't you? Imagine that Father escapes, amasses his army, and then takes the throne. Where am I?"

"Crown princess," the Avatar supplies instantly, a note of anger and distrust in his voice.

"Wrong," she replies coldly. "I'm a wild card as far as he's concerned. And, lacking the power to bend, he'll need a weak ruler, one he can control easily. That is not me. If Father takes the throne, he'll either have me imprisoned or killed, and frankly, I don't enjoy the thought of either of those options. So, it's to my advantage to keep Zuzu on the throne and Father safely tucked away in prison. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that."

"So what happens when this is over?" Mai asks.

Azula simply smiles. "Oh, Mai. No hard feelings about the Boiling Rock, right? I made a mistake. It shouldn't ruin our friendship."

"You're not my friend," she replies, a note of fear almost hidden in her voice. Azula clucks, and crosses her arms.

"Your loss. Anyway, Avatar, I want you to know, I'm on your side," she says, smirking cruelly.

"You are?" he asks incredulously.

"Yes," she replies, drawing the syllable out. "After all, if you had done your job and killed my father when you had the chance to, I'd still be locked up in the mental institution. So, your stupidity has given me freedom. I thank you for that."

Everyone gapes at her, except Sokka, who is coming to understand her better, and saw this coming. "Don't talk to him like that!" the waterbender shouts, standing. She simply blinks.

"He's not your son," she says coolly. "Stop treating him like a child. Or, I suppose, don't stop treating him like one, as long as he acts that way."

"I am not acting like a child!" the Avatar says angrily.

"Yes," Azula says calmly, "you are. You let your heart control your mind, and you put everyone at risk because of it. You made an amateur's mistake, and now I - and Zuko - are forced to clean up the mess you've left behind."

"What mistake is that?"

She opens her mouth to respond, but Sokka does it for her. "You left Ozai alive," he says gravely. "And angry. He has contacts all over the world, who will help him escape, and you've given him ammunition to use against you, _good _ammunition."

"In short," Azula adds, meeting the Avatar's eyes, "you stole something very, very important to him, and he will stop at nothing to make you pay for it. Congratulations, Avatar Aang," she says sarcastically, clapping, "your idiocy and adherence to long-dead traditions has put the world at far more risk than it was before. Believe me, a civil war in the Fire Nation will cause more devastation than you can imagine."

"Which," Zuko says, cutting into the conversation, "is what we're trying to avoid."

"I say we execute him," Sokka says firmly. "Doesn't have to be public or even particularly nasty. A beheading will do, something quick and certain."

"No," the Avatar insists, desperately, and Azula catches the faint tinge of panic in his voice. "I won't let you execute him."

"Then you're on his side," Azula replies. Silence falls over the table.

"I am not on his side," the Avatar says coldly. Azula raises an eyebrow.

"Could have fooled me."

He lets out a growl of frustration. "Why are we listening to her? What happened to _Azula always lies_?"

"She has no reason to lie about this," Zuko says, trying to calm the group down.

"Since when has that stopped her before?" the Avatar cries, clearly agitated and unable to control his emotions. Azula sighs; she'll have to teach him that, won't she? Agni knows Zuzu is worthless when it comes to control. (And, well, so was she a couple of months ago, but that's in the past now, and it's not going to happen again.)

"Listen to me or not, I don't really care," she says loudly. "But I'm not lying, and if you ignore me now, then, well," she laughs. "Father will escape, and you'll find yourself in a precarious position, Avatar."

"I don't believe you. He can't bend anymore. He's powerless!"

All humor leaves Azula's face, and she leans forward, grabbing the Avatar by his shirt and pulling him down to eye level with her. "You," she says, in a measured, calm tone, "are an _idiot _if you honestly believe that he is powerless simply because he cannot bend."

The Avatar blinks, and the entire table is silent, letting her words sink in. The waterbender shifts uncomfortably.

"Okay," the girl says quietly, and looks at Azula with something like fear. "What do we do?"

Azula releases the Avatar and leans back. "You strike first. Kill him before he has the chance to kill you."

"And then what?" the Avatar says savagely, looking at the waterbender like she's betrayed him. "We dance around his corpse? I won't kill him! I believe - " he cries desperately, "I believe that people are fundamentally good, and can be changed for the better. I can talk to him, make him see that there's nothing to be gained from fighting."

"Good luck with that," Zuko says darkly. "Trust me, speaking from experience, that isn't gonna work."

"I have to try!"

"And put yourself in needless danger?" the waterbender adds softly. "That's a bad idea, Aang. Maybe... Maybe Azula is right." She looks up and meets her brother's eyes. "Maybe we do need to execute Ozai before he can break out of prison."

"I can't believe you would say that," the Avatar hisses, and then stalks out of the room.

"Aang!" the girl cries, but Azula stops her.

"Let him go. If he wants to be stupid and put himself at risk, that's his prerogative." She forces the other girl to sit down, digging her nails into her skin with a little bitterness. "We need to discuss how to nullify Father. That is," she says, tapping her chin, "if he hasn't already set an escape plan in motion. Knowing him, he's got supporters planted all over the place, just waiting for the right moment to strike."

The girl looks uneasy, and keeps glancing to the door the Avatar left through, like he's going to burst right back through and say that this was all just a bad dream. Azula, however, had plenty of experience with nightmares becoming real, and knew better than to hope for the easy way out that the Avatar was hunting for.

"I don't like the thought of just executing him, though," Zuko says, collapsing into a chair. He's not sitting on his throne, she notices, probably because this is a casual meeting. Either way, she files the information in her mind, something interesting to take into consideration. "He's already been publicly tried and sentenced for his crimes. I can't just go against that without back-lash."

Azula shrugs. "So send someone in to do it incognito. The official story can be that an old, personal enemy of Ozai managed to kill him within the prison walls."

"Then we look weak," Zuko counters, and she's surprised. Zuko didn't often come up with good counters to her arguments. "If the guards can let an assassin just walk in and kill a high-security and high-profile prisoner, what does that say about us? No, they would either think that we're incompetent, or they would know it was an inside job. We need another answer."

"Let him escape, but have people posted to kill him when he does?" she suggests, but Sokka shoots it down.

"No way," he says, shaking his head. "Too easy to screw up."

"Poison his food?" Mai asks. "Make it look like a natural death?"

"That's murder," Zuko replies uneasily, looking at Mai like he's just seeing her.

"And sending an assassin to kill him in the night isn't?" she counters sarcastically, crossing her arms.

Zuko makes an angry noise. "This is such a mess," he says, burying his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do."

"Maybe we should check on him," the waterbender suggests, and for a moment, Azula thinks she's talking about the Avatar. "You know, go in and talk to him, ask a few pointed questions and see if we can feel out what he wants."

Zuko nods, and then an odd look passes over his face. "It might be a good idea to check on him anyway. I haven't been that way in a while..."

"Wouldn't someone have told you if he'd escaped?" Sokka asks, starting to panic.

"Of course," Zuko answers, but Azula cuts in.

"Assuming the guards aren't on Ozai's side."

For exactly three seconds, everything in the room is still, and then everyone stands and bolts for the door at the exact same time. Except Azula, who remains seated, laughing at their fear.

* * *

A/N: This story started out being much darker than it's turning out to be - I'm taking it in a slightly different direction now that it's ballooned past one-shot status. That direction is this: a major part of this story will be following Azula as she learns to seek redemption.


	4. but still i feign confusion

**opheliac**  
(iv-but still i feign confusion)

"Of course," Zuko growls, punching the wall. "_Of course._ I knew it was too good to be true, I just knew it!"

"Okay," Sokka says, voice shaking as he tries to contain his fear and desperation. "So, he's escaped, and we don't know when, or where to. That's... not good, but we've done more with less. When was the last time you saw him?"

"Almost a month ago!" Zuko cries, letting his anger control him once more. Azula finally steps in, pushing off the wall and crossing her arms.

"This is not the end of the world, Zuzu. So we've lost our chance at a pre-emptive strike. Still, we know he's escaped, and it shouldn't be too hard to find his supporters, especially for me."

He looks at her incredulously. "Are you out of your mind?"

"It's been said," she replies flippantly. "But I'm your best hope at finding him, and you know it."

"You planned this," Zuko accuses, stepping forward, towering over her in anger. She raises an eyebrow.

"How? I've been locked up tight in the mad-house," she says, meeting his eyes with a challenge. "Remember, I'm in this just as deep as you are. He won't be stupid enough to side with me."

"Then how can you find his supporters, huh?" Sokka says angrily, joining Zuko.

"Just because Father isn't stupid doesn't mean his followers aren't. They'll think that my joining with Father will make him more powerful, and they'll give me the information I want."

"How do we know you won't turn on us?" Mai asks, folding her hands into her sleeves and, Azula knows from experience, clutching at least two knives.

"You don't," she replies coolly. "You'll just have to trust me."

"No," Sokka and Zuko say at the same time. "Not happening," Sokka continues, shaking his head.

"You don't have a choice," Azula says, running low on patience, articulating her words sharply. "If you want to survive this with your heads intact, you're going to have to follow my lead."

"I don't buy that," Sokka replies. "We got by just fine without you before."

"And how did that work out?" she counters, cocking her head. "Oh, no, let me guess. Inciting civil war among the Fire Nation two months into your glorious _peace_ was all part of the plan, was it? You _meant _for Ozai to get in touch with his supporters and escape from prison, did you? Yes, you fabulous strategist, you, you've done _so great_."

"Sarcasm is not appreciated," Zuko spits furiously. Azula huffs.

"You want to assign someone to babysit me, _fine_. I don't care. Come along for the ride. But you _need _me."

"And," Sokka says, more even than before, "you need us. Without our support, you're alone, and you've said it yourself, your father will have you killed or imprisoned - or worse," he continues darkly, apparently remembering their conversation about fates worse than death and manipulating the Avatar. She hesitates at this; the unspoken threat is crystal-clear.

"Fair enough," she replies, in as even a voice as she can. "I do need you. We need each other. That's why you have to trust me. I have nothing to gain by opposing you right now - and everything to lose."

"Now that," the waterbender says, the first time she's spoken since they got to the prison, "I _do _believe. We can go with her," she suggests. "But first, we have to find Aang."

"If Aang doesn't want to be found, we won't find him," Sokka says absently. "No, first, we need to come up with a plan, something to do about this."

"And in order to do that," Azula says quietly, "we need information."

"So, what, we go incognito and try to convince some people that we want Ozai back in power?" Sokka says, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, that'll work, with Fire Lord Zuko and the Avatar's closest friends and teachers. Good plan, Azula."

She takes a deep, calming breath, and controls the desire to _tear his fucking face off_. "No, but the Avatar's old enemies will be able to convince them. Mai and I can easily get the information we want."

"Right, they'll buy that the Fire Lord's girlfriend is rebelling against him," the waterbender says sarcastically, but Mai at least has caught on.

"Not if we stage a public break-up," she suggests. "We can make it look like he's done something horrible and broken my heart. It'll add credence to the plan. We can even stage Azula's escape from the mental hospital. It'll look like I'm the woman scorned."

"Oh, there's the Mai I know," Azula cries, grinning at the other girl's clear discomfort. "That's a good plan."

"No offense," Sokka says, "but I'm not exactly on board with trusting you to run around undercover."

"Even with Mai babysitting me?" she implores, with as false a smile as she can possibly give. "You think Mai would side with me over pwecious Zuzu?" she coos, in a sickening baby voice. Mai glares, and her arms tense, as though she's clutching a knife and dearly wants to throw it.

"Stop it," Zuko commands, and Azula rolls her eyes.

"Fine, Sokka, if you're so untrusting, why don't you come along?"

He opens and closes his mouth several times, and she knows that he wants to say _no thank you, that is the last thing I want to do _- but it's also the best way to monitor her and make sure she doesn't turn against them. He finally makes a face, and sighs. "Let me think about it. We'll need to work this whole thing out, anyway."

"Of course," she says sweetly, even going so far as to bow. "Your wish is my command," she purrs, and is delighted to see him completely thrown off-guard by this. He coughs, and shuffles his feet uncertainly.

"Right," he says blankly, and his sister steps in.

"Right," she repeats. "Let's get back to the palace and plan our next move. We need to act fast, before the populace figure out that Ozai has escaped."

"One person I need to tell," Zuko says as they slink into the cramped palanquin, jerking a hood over Azula's face to hide the fact that she's here, "Uncle. He'll be able to contact - " he glances at Azula, and then continues, "certain people. We might be able to form a network of allies." Azula takes notes mentally: she's known for some time that Uncle has contacts all over the world, and she begins making plans for how to deal with them. No doubt they'll side with Zuko, and she'll need to remember that for the future.

"I'll send word to Suki," Sokka adds. "So we'll have reinforcements from Kyoshi."

"That's a good idea," the waterbender says. "A really good idea. Should we talk to Dad?"

"No," Zuko replies shortly. "The fewer people who know, the better. Suki could come under the guise of meeting up with Sokka..."

"And she would bring Ty Lee with her," Mai adds, "who could act like she was coming to console me."

"Good," Sokka says, "should she come with us on our mission?"

"No," Mai and Azula say at the same time, and both look at each other with surprise. "She's too visible," Azula continues. "She'll draw too much attention, and not the kind we want."

"But she's a good ally," the waterbender muses, and Mai shakes her head.

"I know that, better than anyone else, but Azula is right," she says, as though it's causing her physical pain to admit. "Ty Lee is... not good for undercover work."

"Again," Azula adds, "the fewer who are involved, the better. If we're hoping to do this under the Fire Nation's noses, we'll need to act quickly and silently. So it's probably a good idea to write your letters in code, or just imply that it might be a good idea for them to come to the capital, and soon."

"Yeah, but knowing Iroh, he'll worry," Sokka says, and then smacks himself on the forehead, "and we're forgetting someone really important!"

"Who?" Azula asks, already plotting how to do this discreetly.

"Toph!" he cries, and something shudders through the group.

"How could we have forgotten about her?" the waterbender asks, burying her face in her hands. "And how can we get her to come without letting on what's really going on? She can't read!"

"We get Uncle to drop by Gaoling on his way, and pick her up," Zuko says firmly. "She'll go with him, and he can explain to her what's happening."

"Good luck explaining all of that in a letter," Azula drawls, "especially considering that Ozai's crew are probably watching your outgoing mail."

He groans. "Great, that's just... great," he says darkly, and runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, how is this? I imply in my letter that, um, I've been having some trouble with - with Mai!" he cries, landing on an option. "And I ask him to come and help me out, and that it would be great if he could bring Toph along because, um..." His elation fades as he loses steam, but Mai picks it up deftly.

"Because you think I'm cheating on you, and you want her to come and find out if I'm lying to you."

"Oh, that's good," Sokka says, nodding. "And I'll tell Suki that I really miss her and Mai really misses Ty Lee, and, um, they should come visit for, uh... Is there a holiday coming up?"

"No," Azula, Mai, and Zuko answer at the same time, and Sokka winces.

"Okay, well, is someone's birthday coming up?"

"Aang's is," the waterbender says. "In, um, a month and a half, but they don't know that, do they?"

"Right!" Sokka cries. "They should come for Aang's birthday!"

"Then won't it look weird that Zuzu's sending to Uncle and not mentioning the upcoming birthday?" Azula asks, and Sokka's face falls, but the waterbender (she makes a mental note to figure out the girl's name at some point) picks up the slack.

"Zuko can mention it in his letter, that they should come to help him and for the birthday. And since Toph knows that Aang's birthday isn't for another month and a half, she'll know that something is up."

"All right," Zuko says, taking a deep breath, and leaving the palanquin, looking around to make sure they haven't been seen, and dropping more than a few coins on the ground next to the bearers - the price of silence and discretion. "I'll write my letter first. Sokka, wait a day or two before you send word to Suki - we don't want to rouse suspicion."

Sokka nods. "Of course," he says, and suddenly looks much older than barely sixteen.

"I'm going to see if I can find Aang," the waterbender says nervously. "Do you think he's... all right?"

"Probably not," Azula replies flippantly. "He thinks I'm a demonic hellspawn and that you're all terrible people for speaking to me, so I doubt he'll be happy to see you." She takes sadistic pleasure in the way the girl's face falls. Happy couples - or, well, in this case they didn't seem _so_ happy, but still - make her sick.

"I don't think he's that... um, blind," the girl says, but uncertainly.

"Of course not," she replies sweetly.

* * *

A/N: I'm updating quickly because I'm writing ahead (I just finished chapter nine, actually), and I got to a part that I was like OH MAN I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THIS and then I realized, wait... So. Yeah. I know not much happens in this chapter, but it'll picks up speed. (And no, Aang isn't that blind. Azula just doesn't think much of him.)


	5. i couldn't be your friend

**opheliac**  
(v-i couldn't be your friend)

By the time dinner is served, the Avatar still hasn't returned, and the waterbender - Katara, she thinks, making a concerted effort to remember her name - is growing more and more agitated by the moment. After a brief, but heated, argument, they decided that Azula would take dinner in Katara's room, so as not to alert the servants to her presence. It's humiliating, to be forced to hide in her own home, but she bears it for now because the payoff later is sure to be good.

Katara sits with her, not trusting her to be alone in a palace riddled with secret passages. Sokka brings them a platter with two plates on it, and mutters something about mistrust and Zuko and creepy old twins, but his sister bats him away and insists that she can handle this.

"So," Katara says conversationally, pulling the lids off the plates. Azula hesitates; on the one hand, she is hungry, but on the other hand, the memory of _that fight_ is still fresh, and part of her balks at sitting down to dinner with... _her._ "How was the, ah, place?"

"Fabulous," she replies easily, crossing her arms. "I _dearly_ miss it."

The other girl opens her mouth to reply, but seems to think the better of it, and nods instead. "So, you're all... better, then?"

That depends, Azula thinks, on one's definition of _better_. "You tell me," she answers sardonically. Katara winces.

"Come on, I'm trying to be nice. Can't you just - "

"No," she says shortly, before Katara can come up with something. "I don't care for _nice_. I've found that kindness is useless, if you have any hopes of surviving in this world."

"You're wrong about that."

"Am I?"

A tense silence falls, and Azula finally caves in and takes her plate. She wonders, vaguely, if they've sprinkled it with bending-suppressants like they did at the mental institution. Probably not - another thing to remember, and use at the proper time. She isn't sure how long it'll take for the drug to wear off, but she plans to be prepared for it when it does.

"You seem better," Katara says, trying again. Azula takes a dainty bite of meat and calmly dabs at her mouth with the napkin, as she was taught, years ago.

"What does 'better' mean to you?" she replies cryptically. "Does it mean that I'm well or that I'm not going to hurt you?"

"That you're well," the girl lies.

"Hmm," she says, stalling for time. "The healers didn't have much of a problem letting your brother secret me away from them this morning, so I suppose that should answer your question. On the other hand," she smirks, "they were probably glad to see me gone."

Something like fear passes over the waterbender's face. She shouldn't be afraid, though: the ball is firmly in her court. Right now, Azula can't bend, and there's plenty of wine in their glasses. Besides, she once heard a rumor that powerful waterbenders could snatch the water right out of the sky, or plants, or even people, and Azula holds no illusions about the girl she's dining with - if threatened, Katara will not hesitate to take water where she can find it. No, best to assume the worst, that Katara can bend the blood right out of her veins, and play it safe for now.

"You have nothing to fear," she says calmly. "Remember, we're on the same side."

"For now," the girl adds, guarded.

"For now," Azula concedes, and swirls the wine in her glass. It's a beautiful, rich, deep red, about half a shade darker than blood. She's never had much of a taste for alcohol, but she drinks the wine out of pure dramatic flair, knowing that it will stain her lips red and make her look more fearsome. "So," she says, licking her lips just this side of seductively, "you and the Avatar, hmm? I wouldn't have thought he had it in him."

Katara isn't stupid enough to give any ground to Azula, so she maintains her guard and answers shortly, "Yes. I'm very lucky."

"_Baobei_," she says, "I think _he _is the lucky one." She isn't, strictly speaking, attracted to women - and if she were, she certainly wouldn't be chasing the waterbender - but it suits her to watch the girl squirm and second-guess herself.

"You don't think much of Aang, do you?"

"No," she replies simply, "I don't."

"Why is that? Is it because he beat your father, or...?"

Azula sighs. She had almost thought that the girl was less naive than some of the others she ran around with. "I don't think much of anyone who chooses to run when he should fight and thinks that removing a man's bending is kinder than killing him. I also don't think much of children who think they're adults but refuse to act the part. The fact that he defeated my father was a stroke of luck, as far as I'm concerned, rather than skill or strategy."

"You don't even know how he did it!"

"I don't have to," she counters. "The Avatar that I saw today is not capable of taking my father in fair combat."

"Except that he did," Katara replies, angry on behalf of her boyfriend. "And on the day of Sozin's Comet, at that. How does a _child _do that?"

"Luck," Azula says shortly.

"He's the most powerful bender in the world!"

"That doesn't make him a good fighter, or leader, or strategist," she says, and catches the other girl off-guard. "All that means is that he can make exceptionally pretty rock formations and dance around on the wind. It doesn't mean he knows anything about fighting or winning a war. Trust me, speaking from experience, power is worthless unless you've got a plan to back it up."

Unspoken, it lands heavily between them - _if I had been myself on the day of the comet, you and Zuko would have lost that fight_. On the other hand, she is conceding the loss for what it was, a miscalculation. A slip-up. One that she will not make again.

(Unless, a small voice in the back of her mind says, unless I get _that way_ again.)

"And that is the Avatar's failing," she continues, as though she hadn't stopped. "He expects raw power to save him."

"That's not true," the girl replies, but it's less certain than before. "He went out of his way to find another way to stop Ozai. Power didn't help him in the end, it was - it was energy-bending, spirit-bending. Not raw power."

"And how do you suppose he got close enough to Father to _spirit-bend_ him, hmm?" She's won - it's written all over the other girl's face. But Azula isn't one to simply let a win be. "And I would bet good money that he slacked off on his training, even knowing what was coming, because he knew that - when it came down to it - his past lives would be there to save him. Again." It's a strike in the dark, but it lands true. Azula almost _purrs_. It feels good to be in control of something again, even something so small as a waterbender's confidence.

"Well..." Katara flounders, and then gets angry, "you don't know _anything _about Aang, but you sit here and you - you _attack _him without ever speaking to him about _why _he does what he does!"

"I don't have to speak to a fisherman to understand a net," she drawls, leaning back in her chair. "The Avatar is easy to read, the same way you are, the same way Zuzu is, the same way your brother is. All of you are open books."

"Except Mai," the other girl spits, trying to land a blow. She succeeds, but Azula doesn't give. "You can't read Mai at all. When she turned on you at the Boiling Rock, you were completely surprised, weren't you?"

"Yes," she replies, knowing that Katara expects her to deny it, "I was. I expected her to defy me somehow, but I didn't expect it to be so... _active_. I thought she would refuse to do something for me, not... what she did." And Ty Lee, she thinks, but doesn't voice, Ty Lee completely threw her off-guard, especially because usually she read the acrobat so well.

She is not looking forward to seeing Ty Lee again. Mai is easy to deal with, and tends to be predictable, but Ty Lee has proven to be far less obvious than she thought, and she isn't sure how to deal with her once-best friend.

Katara's anger drains away, replaced with something like pity. "Those last few weeks weren't good for you, were they?"

"They were miserable," she replies airily, unwilling to cave to the girl's sympathy. "But it's in the past. And now, here we are, eating dinner and waiting to be saved by Uncle and some warriors in too much makeup because your boyfriend can't do his job." She smiles with false warmth. "And my father is on the loose somewhere, gathering an army to lead against my brother. And... _here _we are."

"You said yourself," Katara says, through gritted teeth (and she knows that the girl is trying very hard not to rise to Azula's bait), "that power is worthless without a plan to back it up. We're working on that plan."

"No," she counters, "_we_ are arguing about the Avatar and power, while _they _are planning."

"What do you suggest we do? There are too many servants, and technically, you're still in the mental hospital, remember?"

She smiles like a cat, and stands purposefully, daintily setting her napkin on the table and taking Katara's arm, still smiling, and waltzes to the wall, right at the corner, half-hidden by a wardrobe, and presses her hand firmly against a specific stone. A small section of the wall punches inward and slides to the left.

"Of course," Katara whispers, "Of course, the secret passages."

"Can you be a dear," Azula says, ignoring the girl's mumbling and waving a hand regally, "and fetch a candle?"

"Can't you firebend?"

"Do you want me to?" she challenges, affecting an eager tone, deciding that the less Katara knows about the state of her bending, the better.

"No," Katara replies hastily, falling right into position where Azula wants her, and snatches a candle from the dinner tray. Together, they enter the drafty, slightly stale passage.

"Now, if I remember correctly..." she mutters to herself, looking both ways and trying to make some sense out of the gloom. She hesitates, trying to orient her mental map of the palace and work out the direction they should be going, landing on left. The path in that direction slopes downward, which is correct: the conference room is on the bottom floor of the palace, and Katara's room is among the royal apartments on the third level. "This way," she says, as firmly as she can. It's a little cold in these passages, and the air smells of dust, rot, and bad memories.

She cannot wait for her bending to return, if only so she can warm herself.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," she replies with more bravado than she feels. It's been years since she's needed to use any of the secret passages, and her memories of them are tenuous at best, but she won't let Katara know that. Better for her to view Azula as the unwavering, dangerous Princess of the Fire Nation than as a human. Safer, for everyone involved.

The passages wind and twist and fall sharply down at one point, narrowing and warping to accommodate the rooms on the other side of the wall. They travel in an uncomfortable, taut silence, like the other girl expects her to turn around and rip her head from her body. It agitates Azula, not because it's so far from something she may do, but because it would simply be _stupid_ - Azula has made it abundantly clear that she needs these people in order to survive the imminent war, so why would she kill Katara now? It's too early to have this kind of mistrust.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know," she says coolly.

"You'll forgive me for not exactly believing that."

"I'm not," she repeats conversationally, pausing to regain her bearings and feeling the wall for subtle changes in temperature that will mean a lit wall sconce. "It would be counterproductive. Whether you trust me or not, you must agree that I have nothing to gain from killing you here. And until I have something to gain by your death, you're perfectly safe. Something good enough to justify the hassle, that is," she adds, thinking about it.

"That isn't exactly reassuring."

Azula laughs outright at this. "Then you clearly know nothing of politics or the Fire Nation. That's about as reassuring as you _get._"

Katara peers at her through the flickering candle-light. "Your childhood must have been really sad," she says, without judgment or emotion. It gives her pause - no one has ever commented on her childhood before.

"My childhood," she lies through clenched teeth, "was perfectly happy."

There's a pause, the moment between Azula's hand touching the keystone and the wall opening, in which Katara watches her carefully and something flashes across her face, too quickly for Azula to read. "Of course it was," she replies gently, and then the wall opens.


	6. my world was too unstable

**opheliac**  
(vi-my world was too unstable)

"What the - Azula!" Zuko cries, standing up abruptly. She ignores his anger and glides into the room with a small smile on her face, which widens as she watches Mai tense and ready a knife. Katara follows her, hands raised in surrender.

"It was her idea," she says. "She wanted to know how the planning was going."

"Oh, you don't give yourself enough credit," Azula laughs, tossing her hair back and settling into the seat next to Mai, who recoils like she's been burned. "You're the one who brought it up." She looks to Zuko. "We were having a _lovely _conversation, and she happened to mention that we were planning our next step, but I thought, well, that's wrong, because we're not planning anything at all. Everyone else is doing that. And I thought, wouldn't it be _great_ if we could join the fun? So, here we are." She smiles benevolently and lounges in her seat, delighting in the pinched expression on Katara's face.

Zuko takes several deep breaths, and then looks at Mai. "Mai? Can you - " he gestures to the servant's entrance, and Mai nods.

"Of course," she says, and leaves the room, presumably to tell the servants that they will not be needed further tonight.

"So," Azula begins joyfully, leaning against the table, "let's _plan._"

Everyone stares at her for a long moment. Unnoticed, Mai returns to the room and settles into her seat again, the picture of serenity and grace. Finally, Sokka breaks the silence.

"Well, first, we need to know where these followers might be. Besides just scattered around the city."

"We can start with the guards," Katara says, finally taking a seat next to her brother and pushing his dishes away distastefully. "They kept his escape secret, so we know they're working with him."

"They won't be stupid enough to stay," Azula replies lightly, leaning forward and taking a strawberry from Mai's plate and smirking internally at the tension in her former friend. "Zuzu should have questioned them before returning to the palace. If they've got any sense of self-preservation at all, they're long gone by now."

Zuko curses violently under his breath. "Why didn't you say something then?"

She raises an eyebrow and steals another strawberry. "Why didn't you? You're supposed to be the great ruler here. I'm just the mad sister."

"Azula!" he hisses, losing patience. She rolls her eyes.

"Honestly, I didn't think about it. I was too busy planning the infiltration bit," she says, gesturing with the half-eaten strawberry. She can see Mai grappling with her intense desire to snatch Azula's hand and force her to stop, so she makes her gestures even wilder, going out of her way to annoy the other girl. "You can't blame this all on me. There were five of us there and not one of us said anything."

"You aren't exactly helping your case," Sokka says in a low voice, trying to be the peacekeeper for once.

"That would involve having a case to help," she replies, completely unfazed. "Since the guards are out of the picture, I think Mai here," she claps an arm around Mai's shoulders and smirks, "should talk to some of her parents' friends. I would bet good money on the fact that at least _some _of the nobility are siding with Father, and that's a good enough place to start."

"That's a good plan," Mai says, glancing disgustedly at Azula's arm around her. "But we need to stage our breakup first, so it looks more authentic."

"Right," Zuko says, "but we have to wait for Uncle to get here before we do that. We won't be able to set anything in motion until the end of this week at least."

"Not true," Azula adds, "you can stage the breakup tomorrow. You've sent the letter to Uncle mentioning that you're having problems and you think she's cheating. We can make it look like you found proof, say, tonight or tomorrow morning. Just be sure to include lots of shouting and tears."

"Speaking of," Sokka says, leaning against the table with a weary sigh, "how are we going to do this?"

"Have Zuzu walk in on his girlfriend in bed with his best friend," Azula answers promptly, pulling Mai's plate of fruit over to her place and again ignoring the angry look on the girl's face.

"So that would be Sokka?" Katara suggests, and taps her chin thoughtfully. "It could work, although I don't know if anyone would believe that Sokka and Mai were sneaking around behind Zuko's back."

"We can order a lot of whiskey and other alcohol," Mai says. "Make it look like a drunken one-night-stand."

"But," Sokka cries, "what about Suki?"

"The Kyoshi girl?" Azula asks, surprised that such a powerful girl would date Sokka. "Even better. She can come to the Fire Nation, seeking revenge for you breaking her heart."

"Yeah, but I don't actually want to break her heart."

"Tough luck," Mai says, crossing her arms. "We can explain the situation after she and Ty Lee get here."

"You _have _met Suki, haven't you?"

"Deal with it," Zuko says, his already bad mood clearly souring further. "This is _way_ more important than your relationship, all right?"

Sokka whimpers, but doesn't comment.

"Now then," Azula says, as though the conversation is over, "where is the Avatar?"

Katara sighs. "I don't know. He could be anywhere."

"He... does this," Sokka says, scratching the back of his head, "sometimes, when things get bad."

"Well, he needs to stop doing it," she replies coolly. "We're going to need his support and his abilities."

"Maybe if he didn't feel like everyone just turned against him..." Sokka suggests, but Azula laughs.

"Oh, how terrible," she gasps sarcastically, "people don't like him. He needs to put on his big-girl pants and _deal with it_. He can't be running off like a scared three-year-old who broke his mother's favorite vase every time we say something he doesn't like."

"And you should stop being so mean to him," Katara counters angrily.

"Right, and what do you suggest I do?" she challenges, annoyed. "Tell him he's a good boy and nothing is his fault? Forget it. He needs to hear the truth, no matter how _mean _it may be."

"I hate to say it," Mai says, stepping easily into the conversation, "but Azula is right. Aang can't run away from everything. He needs to face this."

"Maybe if he had a little more time..." Katara offers, but Azula cuts her off with a sharp, cynical laugh.

"All he's had is _time_. What he needs now is - " but she's cut off by the door opening and the Avatar finally returning, face dark and melancholy. "Ah, perfect timing."

"I'm sorry for all of this, Zuko," he croaks, and collapses into a seat while Katara rushes to his side. "I didn't think..."

"It's too late for apologies," Mai replies coldly. "Ozai has already escaped." A moment of pure _panic _crosses over his face.

"What?" he moans, and appears to bow under the weight.

"It'll be okay, Aang," Katara says soothingly, but Azula has had enough. She stands sharply and grabs Aang by the collar, wrenching him to his feet and snatching his staff out of his hand.

"What are you - " Sokka starts, but Mai throws out a hand to stop him, understanding Azula's purpose.

"No," she begins, voice as cold as ice, "it will _not _be okay. Thanks to you, my country is about to be devastated by civil war, and instead of standing up like a _man_ and facing the consequences of your actions, you choose to run like a scared rabbit and hide from the truth. Do you have any idea how childish you are?"

"No, why don't you tell me?" he spits, angry and hurt.

"Oh, I will. You are a spoiled, idiotic, _pathetic_ little boy who keeps prancing around like the world is a bright, happy place where everything is rainbows and butterflies and happy little turtle-duck families. You refuse to face the world as it is, and because of that, my people and my country are in mortal danger. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Stop it," Katara hisses, but Azula glares at her.

"No. Let the boy speak for himself. What do you have to say for yourself?" Aang hesitates, and looks to Katara for support. Furious, she pushes Katara away and pokes the Avatar in the chest, hard. "Answer me!"

"I needed to get away!" he cries. "I just... I had to clear my head."

"That isn't good enough," she replies savagely.

"Stop treating him this way!" Katara shouts. "You have no idea what he's been through!"

Azula pauses, and then draws herself to her full height, rage glinting in her eyes. "Oh? What have you been through, Avatar?" she asks, in a falsely calm voice. "You grew up in a temple where everyone loved you and helped you and taught you. Then you ran away and got locked up in ice for a hundred years, while your people were slaughtered. How _sad_. And then you get out and you spend a year running around the world, having an absolutely _fabulous _time learning about the elements, with only a couple of hiccups, and you depose my father with a stroke of blind luck. Tell me, have you ever been told that you're wrong? Have you ever felt worthless, or powerless, or _small?_ Have you ever had your heart broken or had anyone ever _not _love you?"

He stares straight into her eyes, and does not answer, so Azula continues, her voice low with anger and shaking with the effort of maintaining control. "No. No, you haven't. Imagine growing up the way I did. Imagine that your worth is measured by how good a firebender you are, or by how badly your brother fails," she hisses, and Zuko winces. The conversation has taken a dangerously personal turn, and she can't stop herself, even if she wanted to, "Imagine that nothing you do is ever quite good enough for your father, and your mother thinks you're a monster. Imagine that no one likes you, that everyone you know is just waiting for the chance to turn on you. Imagine that you have no one to turn to, nowhere to go, and nothing to believe in but yourself. Imagine that running away is not and has never been an option.

"Can you survive in this world? Could you, even for one day, live that way?" He hangs his head, eyes burning with unshed, angry tears. "Answer me!" she shouts, and her voice reverberates in the silence.

"No," he mumbles.

"I can't _hear _you."

"I said no! Are you happy now?" he cries, and tries to leave the room again, but she catches him by the arm and forces him to stand his ground.

"No. Not until you've learned how to." She digs her fingernails into his skin and looks him straight in the eye. "This morning? That was the last time you get to run away from your problems. From here on, you will stand and face the consequences of your actions and the responses of others, no matter how distasteful or painful you may find them. You are no longer allowed to act like a child, do you understand me?"

"Says who?" he asks defiantly.

"Aang," Sokka says, and comes over, pulling Azula's hand off his arm, "I hate to say this, but she's right. She could have been nicer about it," he adds, giving her a sidelong glance, "but you do need to face this head-on. We can't protect you forever."

"Has everyone turned against me?" he cries, and looks around the room. Zuko and Katara both look away, but Mai meets his eyes stoically.

"Welcome to the real world," Azula says coldly. "I'm going to do you a favor, and teach you how to survive it."

"I don't want to learn anything from _you_."

"Don't mistake it for a suggestion," she replies, unfazed. "And besides," she continues, letting the mask of indifference slip into place and hide her burning desire to scream, "you couldn't ask for a better teacher. I am the _queen _of adaptation." He gives her a mutinous look, but doesn't say anything more, jerking away from her and Sokka and falling petulantly into a seat.

"I still don't know why we're trusting her," he grumbles, and Mai answers him bitterly.

"Do you have a better idea? _Any _other idea?"

"Our hands are tied," Zuko admits darkly. "We need her expertise."

"She'll kill us in our sleep," Aang continues, poking angrily at one of Sokka's discarded plates.

"Now, why would I do that?" she asks airily, sitting beside him. "I need you as much as you need me. We've already been through this. I have too much to lose to risk killing any of you."

"I know it won't be fun," Sokka says, as though Azula hasn't spoken, "but we're kinda desperate."

There's a pause, and then Aang says, in a very soft voice, "I'm not going to kill him."

No one replies.

* * *

A/N: I'm about to go on a week-long trip, so I'm updating now before I leave. And I know I'm updating stupidly fast, but I'm horribly impatient and I'm writing well ahead of what I'm posting, which is weird for me and makes me antsy.


	7. you might have seen the end

**opheliac**  
(vii-you might have seen the end)

Azula is making her bed with military precision, studiously ignoring her current companion, because she knows what he's going to talk about, and she does not want to hear it. She straightens and re-straightens the silk duvet several times before Sokka finally loses patience and stops her.

"You didn't have to be so mean to Aang," he says, in an odd tone. She jerks her wrist from his grip and begins fluffing her pillows.

"I'm not here to coddle him."

"That doesn't mean you should attack him."

"It's about time someone did," she counters coolly, and then makes a face at the pillows. Who replaced her pillows with turtle-duck down pillows? All of the servants know that she's allergic to them. She growls and stalks to the closet, shoving blankets and dresses and formal robes aside until she finds _her _pillows, stacked neatly on the top shelf, about a foot beyond her reach. Instead of asking for help, she takes the chair from her powder room and drags it into the closet to stand on.

"I could... help you... with... that," Sokka says uncertainly, watching her.

"I'm perfectly capable, thank you," she replies, and changes out the pillows.

"What's wrong with the pillows?" he asks, and she huffs.

"I despise the color," she lies, and badly, because the old ones are the same color as the new. He guesses that she isn't going to tell him, though, so he gives up and simply sits down on her bed, much to her annoyance. "Get up, you're wrinkling the sheets."

He rolls his eyes, but stands anyway and takes the now-vacant seat that she's left in the closet. "So...," he begins, and she winces. Here it comes. "What you said about your childhood..."

"What about it?" she asks, as though discussing the weather.

"I've already talked to Zuko, so don't even try to play it off like you were lying, because you weren't."

She makes a mental note to hit Zuko the next time she sees him. "And?"

"I never knew all that," he says, peering at her like he's seeing her for the first time. "Did all that really... I mean, I guess it... I'm sorry," he finally says, a little lamely. "Is that why you're really helping us fight Ozai?"

She hesitates; the answer is complicated and muddy, even to her. The truth is hidden somewhere in her past, and finding it requires digging through years of suppressed emotions and memories, and making sense of her breakdown two months ago. She doesn't want to face any of it, if she's being honest - she would far rather let the sleeping dragons lie and never look at any of it ever again, but she's never really been as lucky as they say she is. Why is she helping them? The easy answer is the one she's been giving since she first discussed this with Sokka three days ago, but it isn't the whole answer.

Part of it is undeniably about revenge, about making him pay for abandoning her in the days before the comet, about making him see her as a threat for once instead of a pawn. Part of it is about curiosity, about learning if she's permanently broken or even capable of doing the right thing. And part of it - a small, unwanted part - is about making peace with her demons.

Instead of voicing this, she shrugs. "I've already told you why I'm helping you."

"I don't think that's everything."

"It isn't," she answers simply, "but the rest of it is none of your business."

He shrugs. "Fair enough. Back to Aang. I think you should try to be nicer to him."

"We've been through this," she says flatly. "I don't _do _nice."

"You've got the wrong idea. I know you don't think much of him, but he's more capable than you think he is."

"Of course," she replies absently, re-making her bed and fixing the curtains around it.

"I'm serious," he insists.

"And I don't care," she counters. "You're not going to change my mind."

"I'm just saying," he says, shrugging, "that you should give him a chance."

"Why?"

This throws him off. "What do you mean, why?"

She crosses her arms and leans against the bed-post. "Why should I give him a chance? He's already had plenty of chances to grow up on his own, so why should I give him another one?"

"That's not what I..." he starts, but then pauses to think about it, and finally sighs. "Aang is... He's only almost thirteen. And he grew up in a world where thirteen was still a child - he wasn't supposed to come of age until he was sixteen! Can you blame him for acting the way he was raised to act?"

"You blame me for it," she replies shortly. Sokka makes an odd sound in the back of his throat and runs a hand through his hair.

"Okay, bad example," he concedes. "I'm just saying, you're acting like he's committed some horrible crime by being young."

She considers this for a moment. Thirteen is awfully young to be shouldered with saving the world, but that's never been an excuse as far as Azula is concerned. Thirteen was old enough for her to learn the nuances of world domination, it was old enough for her brother to be scarred and banished for speaking out of turn, and it was old enough for everyone else to take their places and act like adults. "Where were you when you were thirteen, hmm?" she asks, turning the conversation back to him.

"I was... my father was leaving to fight with the Earth Kingdom," he says, "and I was left in charge of the warriors as the oldest male in the tribe. But it wasn't... I don't think Aang should be held up to that standard."

"Why not? Because he was raised differently?"

"He was raised in a time of peace," he insists. "And I think we've forgotten what that means. Aang is one of the only people left who can show us."

She pauses and thinks about that - how different might her life have been had she been born in a time of peace? Would she be who she is today? Certainly not. Would her mother still... She shakes the thought away. "Your argument would hold more water if we weren't facing a civil war. It's certainly sweet that you want to preserve his innocence, but while he's running around being a child, my father is amassing an army and planning to re-take his throne and kill my brother and I. He can't afford to be a child of peace in a time of war."

"Maybe not, but attacking him isn't going to make him grow up any faster."

"I disagree," she says simply, waltzing behind the _byobu_ to change clothes and end this conversation. She hears Sokka cough behind her and smirks. "Learning how to stand up to someone who is attacking you is probably the fastest possible way to grow up." She dramatically releases her topknot and allows her hair to cascade down her back, knowing that she's visible from about the shoulder-blades up, and relishing in the knowledge that she's making him nervous.

"Um," he replies, slightly hoarse, completely losing track of the discussion. "I... Uh. That is..." He curses under his breath. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" he accuses, and she turns just slightly, an innocent expression on her face.

"Doing what?" she asks lightly, and he glares at her.

"Tomorrow," he starts, as she pulls her top off and shakes her hair out. He pauses again, and then curses. "I really hate you," he says, and then storms out, chased by her laughter.


	8. but you were never able

**opheliac**  
(viii-but you were never able)

The next morning, chaos reigns. Azula is already awake when the screaming begins, and she decides that she _must_ see the show they're putting on. She dresses quickly and discreetly, and slips out of her room, keeping to the shadows and making for Mai's bedroom.

"I can't _believe_ you would do this!" Zuko yells, looking for all the world like a wounded animal. Mai is standing in the doorway, hair mussed, dressed haphazardly in a livid blue shirt that Azula is sure doesn't belong to her. Sokka is standing in the hallway, also looking haggard, wearing the pants that match Mai's shirt and nothing else. "What were you thinking?"

"Look, Zuko, this was all a big mistake - " Sokka cries, but Zuko cuts him off.

"A _mistake?_" he screams, drawing the attention of the servants, who giggle and snicker to each other, ogling Sokka and gasping in shock at Mai. They'll be the talk of the city. She has to give them credit: they're doing a damn good job. "A _mistake?_ You slept with my girlfriend! And _Mai!_" he cries, sounding utterly heartbroken. Mai simply bows her head and doesn't reply. That won't do, Azula thinks, he needs to blame Mai, give her a reason to strike back.

"I'm sorry," Sokka says fervently, but Zuko continues to fume.

"Mai, I can't believe you would - you - " he splutters for a few seconds. Do it, Azula whispers under her breath, go for it. "You _whore_," he finishes, sounding disgusted. There. Now Mai's got an excuse.

"How dare you," she hisses in a low, furious voice that could have fooled even Azula, "call me whore when everyone knows you rut around with that waterbender all the time!"

Oooh, that's _good_. She suddenly wishes she had fireflakes for this one.

"When he does _what?_" Sokka shrieks, and it's not acting. Even Zuko is shocked - apparently, Mai is improvising with the waterbender bit. Azula smiles. She _knew_ Mai was good for some things.

"I do not - I don't - What the hell are you talking about?" Zuko splutters, and Mai glares.

"Don't act like you don't know! I've seen the way you look at her. You think I'm blind?" She picks up a shoe off the floor and throws it at him. "You have no right to call me a whore, you _bastard!_" Sokka grabs Mai's arm to stop her from throwing anything else.

"Mai, stop it - this isn't - oh no," he mutters, looking around as though just noticing the crowd that's gathered. "Let's take this somewhere else, okay?" he implores.

Mai wrenches her arm from his grip and points at Zuko. "I'm not going _anywhere _with him," she spits, and then turns on her heel and stalks into her room, slamming the door behind her. Zuko looks around at the assembled gawkers.

"Don't you have work to do?" he yells angrily, and everyone jumps and rushes off, whispering to each other the whole way. When the hall is empty, Azula slips out from her hiding place and applauds.

"That was impressive," she says, grinning. Zuko sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I think it went too far," he says in a low voice. "She's _actually _mad at me." He steps forward and knocks on the door. "Mai?"

She opens the door a crack. "Is it clear?" she asks, and Zuko nods. She opens the door, now closer to fully dressed, and everyone shuffles inside. "Whore?" she says, raising an eyebrow.

Zuko winces, "I had to come up with something mean enough that would make you, you know, really mad."

"Well, it worked," she replies flatly. "Here," she says, shoving the shirt into Sokka's arms.

"Hey," Zuko says, "you came up with that Katara thing. We're even."

"No," Mai replies coldly, "we aren't. You called me a whore in front of all of the servants."

"Oh, Mai," Azula says, barreling into the conversation even though she knows that she isn't wanted in it, "don't be such a spoilsport. You've succeeded in what you set out to do. Everyone will believe it when you 'turn' on him." Mai isn't happy with it, but she doesn't comment on it again, rather just crossing her arms and glaring.

There's a knock on the door, and Mai peeks out to see who it is, and then opens the door fully, letting Aang and a very sleepy Katara inside.

"I take it from the screaming that the breakup has been staged?" Katara asks, falling back onto Mai's bed and closing her eyes.

"Yeah," Sokka replies, pulling his shirt on. "Suki's gonna kill me." Aang waves a hand carelessly.

"Don't worry, I'll tell her the truth. It sounded pretty nasty."

"It was," Zuko says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"He called me a whore," Mai adds bluntly. Katara gasps and sits up.

"You didn't!" she cries.

"And she claimed that I've been sleeping with you!" Zuko counters, annoyed. The waterbender's jaw drops.

"What?" she says.

"It was the first thing that came to mind," Mai explains. "And it helps my case as the woman scorned."

"What about me?" Aang asks, hands on his hips. Mai rolls her eyes.

"Oh, just make something up. I threw a shoe at the Fire Lord and called him a bastard, no one is going to be talking about _you_."

"Let's just make this worth it," Sokka says darkly. "Do we wait for Iroh to get here or do we just go ahead and start moving out?"

"The sooner we leave, the better," Azula replies, sitting on the bed. "Let's see, it takes about, what two hours by air to reach the mental hospital? Mai and Sokka can leave within the hour and travel visibly there, and then vanish upon returning to the city. We can be in touch with Father's supporters by this evening."

"Assuming we know who to talk to," Sokka adds, glancing at Mai, who is standing by the wardrobe, fitting her knife holsters on her arms.

"Give me an hour," she says, "while you prepare the airship, I'll get my information."

"Here, wait," Katara says abruptly, standing up and rummaging through Mai's makeup. "Let's do your makeup so it looks like you've been crying."

"I don't cry," Mai replies coolly, but Katara just stares at her.

"The love of your life just called you a whore and cut you out of his life completely. It'll look weirder if you haven't been crying."

"She's got a point," Sokka offers, swinging around the bedpost absently.

"Fine, do it." She glances at Zuko. "You shouldn't be here, nor should you, Aang."

"Right," they say, and Aang makes for the door, but Zuko catches him on the arm and pulls him in the opposite wall, activating the opening to a secret passage and pushing the Avatar in ahead of him.

"All right," Katara mutters, hands on her hips. "That's good enough. Don't want to overdo it." Azula walks over and inspects Katara's work. She's done the makeup well - it's particularly dark around Mai's eyes, with soft, barely-visible tracks down her cheeks, and smudged some to either side of her eyes, like she's been rubbing at them.

"Good work," she says appreciatively. Who knows, she thinks, maybe this plan will actually work.

"Okay," Sokka says, clapping once, "Mai is going to go figure out where we're headed, I'm going to begin getting the balloon ready. Katara, stick to Azula," he adds, in a lower voice. "I don't think she's going to do anything, but just... she needs to not be seen. We're supposed to be stealing her away from the mental hospital, remember."

"I can hear you," she trills, and the siblings wince. "Don't worry, Sokka," she continues, smirking, "Katara and I are going to have a _lovely _time." She throws an arm around Katara's shoulders, making the girl extremely uncomfortable.

Sokka watches her warily for a moment, before finally nodding. "Katara, if she pisses you off, don't hesitate to, I don't know, waterbend her face off or something like that, okay?" Azula lets out a loud, fake laugh.

"Oh, Sokka, how _funny_. I wouldn't _dare_ anger Katara. We're going to be the _best_ of friends."

Sokka rolls his eyes and leaves, and Katara glances at Azula, before gingerly taking her wrist and pulling it off her shoulder. "So," she begins, nervously, "what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Azula purrs, amusing herself with Katara's discomfort, "What do _you_ want to do?"


	9. to keep me breathing

**opheliac**  
(ix-to keep me breathing)

The sun is just beginning to set when they slip out of the palace and make for the red-light district, following Mai's instructions (Sokka only agreeing to leave after making Aang memorize his groveling apology to Suki). They keep their hoods pulled up, but Azula makes sure to make eye contact with a few people around the city - they want people talking about them, but not too much.

"In here," Mai says, directing them to a particularly seedy-looking pub called _the Staggering Naga_ (Sokka snickers uncontrollably for several minutes, until Mai hits him - hard - on the back of the head).

He leans over to Azula. "What's a _naga?_"

"It's a hooded cobra," she answers shortly, shuffling into the pub behind Mai.

"How does a snake stagger?" Sokka asks, obnoxiously, but Azula glares at him and he falls quiet. The pub is bustling with life, mostly sailors and enlisted soldiers, being served by large-breasted women in low-cut dresses. They make their way toward the back, managing somehow to avoid standing out, even though they're all wearing dark clothing and hoods - but then again, this is the sort of pub where shady clientele are commonplace. Mai drops a few copper pieces on the bar and nods at the bartender, who casually sweeps the money into his hand and looks pointedly away.

They push through the poorly-made _noren_ and come to a smoky, dimly lit room. Mai purposefully walks through the room, ignoring the roving eyes of the men, sitting at tables, puffing through elaborate hookahs and blowing out rings of pungent smoke. Sokka appears fascinated, but Azula grabs him by the elbow and forces him to follow Mai and ignore the men.

"Who are they?" he asks in a whisper.

"Crime bosses and underbosses," she replies, glancing around for any familiar faces.

"Aren't you supposed to, you know, stop them?"

"Why?" she asks absently, as they come to a spiral staircase half-hidden in the far back of the room. "I'm not in charge. Besides, they're good for the economy. Watch your step," she says sardonically as he stumbles on a loose floorboard. A few men whistle and mock him, but he simply stands up and, with more dignity than she would have expected, begins to ascend the staircase without ever glancing back. Azula smirks at the men and shrugs before following.

The upper level is slightly nicer than the lower ones - or, at least, there are more windows, so it's brighter and seems nicer - and the setting sun is lighting the western windows on fire, bathing the room in red light. Three men and one woman are sitting at a table, poring over what appears to be a map, when they walk in.

"Am I interrupting?" Mai drawls, crossing her arms. The dark woman turns, and examines Mai critically.

"That depends," she replies, in a strange accent, "on what you are here to find."

Sokka is visibly shaking, as though he's finally realizing how dangerous this quest is, and beginning to regret coming along. Mai, however, doesn't even flinch. "I'm looking for a little revolution," she says, flashing an ornately decorated scroll. "I trust Lord Xing led me to the correct place?"

"So you're the rebel from the palace," one of the men says, leaning back in his chair and giving Mai the same critical examination. "I must say, I didn't expect someone so close to the Fire Lord to come to _us_."

"News travels fast," she says coolly. "Don't pretend you don't know."

They all laugh. "Of course. The woman scorned, looks to hurt her ex-lover any way she can," another man remarks, crossing his arms. "How do we know you won't go running back into his arms?"

A knife suddenly leaves Mai's hand and lands - with a loud, satisfying _thunk_ - on the table, directly on the Fire Nation capital on the map. Everyone recoils, but Mai barely blinks. "I will not be running back into any arms," she says bluntly. "In fact, I'm here to give you your greatest weapon."

"Oh?" the woman asks. "You are cute with the knives, _baobei_, but I do not think you are so special."

Mai smirks, and steps aside, allowing Azula to make her grand entrance. She steps forward arrogantly and smiles as the little group gasps and practically fall over themselves to bow to her.

"Princess Azula!" they cry. "I thought you were in the..." one of the men starts, but Azula waves him off.

"Not anymore, thanks to my _dear_ friends," she says triumphantly, and continues in a firm, powerful voice, "I want my crown back."

"Of course," the woman gasps, and stands to offer Azula her seat. She takes it like it's a throne, perching daintily on the wood and crossing her legs. Sokka and Mai come over and stand on either side of her like faithful lackeys.

"Who are you?" one of the men - the youngest here, with a spindly beard and beady eyes - asks Sokka. Inwardly, Azula prays that he's as good an actor as Mai.

"I'm with her," he says bluntly, pointing to Mai. Both she and Azula bite back groans.

"Ah, you're the one she was caught with," another man says, leaning forward. He's older, with black hair and dark, dark eyes. "Interesting... Aren't you from the Water Tribes?"

"Originally," he claims, and Azula can _feel _him sweating. "But I've relocated, permanently."

"You know," the woman says, "you look like that Waterbender's brother... The one with the Avatar, remember?"

"The one with Zuko, you mean," Mai drawls, stepping into the conversation. "And no, that's not him. You think I would be caught dead in bed with _him?_"

"It is an awful coincidence, two men from the Water Tribes finding their way to the Fire Nation, independent of each other."

"Not really," Sokka bluffs, and clutches at the back of Azula's chair desperately, so she saves him.

"We went out that way," she says by way of explanation, and glances at Mai, "and picked up a few prisoners, while we were looking for the Avatar. Unfortunately," she sighs, and leans on the table, "Koda here is the only one who survived." She smiles like a predator. "And Mai, well, she was just _taken _with him. Apparently even moreso than she was with my brother. I admit, I was surprised." She glances at Sokka. "But then, I guess he's not bad-looking, is he?"

"No," the woman says, eying Sokka. "Not at all."

"So you've been traveling with Princess Azula for quite some time, yes?" the younger man asks, and Sokka nods.

"I'm something of a servant," he says.

"Can you vouch for his loyalty?" the woman asks, and Mai smirks.

"Of course I can," she replies, and unsheathes a knife, allowing it to glint in the fading light. "I've taught him well. If he so much as considers straying, well..." Everyone catches the hint, and nods.

"All right then," the last man says, sounding only somewhat convinced, and lights a candle in the center of the table before wrenching Mai's knife out of it and handing it back to her. "We're working on gathering supporters in the city at the moment. Praveena here," he gestures to the woman, who nods, "is working her special brand of magic throughout the brothels. Huang," he gestures to the youngest man, "is speaking to his fellow soldiers. Dawei," he points to the man with dark eyes, "is in contact with the fishermen. And I, Ju-Long," he bows shortly, "am speaking to the nobility and others within the Caldera."

"So, you're Lord Xing's contact," Azula comments. Ju-Long nods.

"I am well acquainted with most of the higher nobility," he says.

"Yes," Azula muses, "You were fairly high-ranking in the military under Fire Lord Azulon, weren't you? I think I remember hearing about you..."

"I was," he confirms. "I retired following the disgrace at Ba Sing Se under _Prince_ Iroh."

She doesn't bother to comment on his use of _Prince_in reference to Uncle - it's clearly meant as an insult, to undercut his status as retired General and highlight the fact that he never took the throne. Ju-Long, it seems, does not think much of Uncle Iroh. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Sokka preparing to respond, and stomps on his foot before he can put it in his mouth. He grunts, but otherwise manages to maintain his composure. "Well, this is certainly a good group," she says to cover the mishap, paying special attention to Ju-Long - if anyone can see through them, it's him. "Where might I meet up with my father?"

They all exchange looks. "Milady," Huang begins, but Praveena stops him.

"His Royal Highness has strictly ordered that no one is to meet with him until such a date as he has allowed it," she says, bowing slightly. "I apologize for the inconvenience, milady, but perhaps we can work something out."

"Yes," Dawei adds, "I'll send a letter to Lord Ozai immediately."

"No," Azula says sharply. "I'll see him eventually. You aren't centering this rebellion out of a seedy little pub, are you? Where might we meet up with the rest of the resistance?"

"That," Praveena replies with a smile, "we can do for you. Understand that they," she indicated to Mai and Sokka, "will have to be blindfolded, though."

Azula raises an eyebrow. "My word is not sufficient for you?"

"It's not that, milady," Huang says, a note of desperation in his voice - he's the youngest and this is probably his only chance to meet with royalty, so he's trying to make the best possible impression, "it's just that we operate strictly on a need-to-know basis, and well..."

"They don't need to know?" she challenges, and delights in the horror on Huang's face.

"Milady," he starts, but Ju-Long cuts him off.

"Huang doesn't know what he's talking about," he says, shooting the younger man a _look_. "If Princess Azula can vouch for the loyalty of Lady Mai and... her consort," he adds delicately, "then that is more than good enough for us. Assuming, of course, that you can offer undeniable proof of such."

Azula realizes her mistake a half-second too late to fix it, and curses internally. It did seem too easy, she thinks wistfully. "Of course," she says regally. "Name your contest."

Praveena looks them over, and lands on Sokka. "You claim that he is not the brother of that waterbender. Prove it."

Ju-Long nods, "Yes. Besides, she is a dangerous threat. Eliminate the threat, and we will lead you to our base."

Sokka inhales sharply, but doesn't speak. Mai doesn't even blink. Azula nods.

"As you wish. We will kill the waterbender."


	10. as the water rises up again

**opheliac**  
(x-as the water rises up again)

Halfway back to the palace, Sokka loses control.

"My _sister,_" he cries.

"Shut up," Azula snaps, "I'm think - "

"My sister!" he repeats, and Azula turns and grabs him by the collar angrily.

"First off, _don't _interrupt me," she hisses coldly. "Second, keep your voice _down_. You aren't her brother, remember? Finally, shut up and let me think!" Sokka glowers at her mutinously, but falls silent. Azula takes a deep breath and turns around, walking purposefully through the streets. "We must either fake her death," she continues in a low voice, "or do it in such a way that it appears to have failed due to sheer luck."

"That won't be easy," Mai says, folding her hands into her sleeves. "They've seen how good I am with knives, and I've supposedly got good reason to want to see her dead."

"Thanks for that," Sokka spits, "by the way. Your genius idea about Zuko cheating on you with her has done us _so _much good."

"Your mouth is talking," she replies coolly, "you might want to watch that."

"I can't just sit here and - "

"Will you shut up?" Azula whispers. "We aren't going to kill your sister, you idiot."

"You just told them we would," he counters. "If they find out we didn't, what do you think they'll do to us?"

"That's why we won't fail," Azula replies firmly. "This is a precarious game we're playing, and unfortunately for you, we're in this for good. So deal with your panicking now, because I am not going to listen to this anymore." She continues walking, and then veers sharply off to the right suddenly, down a dark and slightly damp street.

"Where are we going?" Sokka asks, as Mai grabs his arm and pushes him along.

"The palace," she answers, like it's obvious.

"But isn't it..." he trails off, pointing in the other direction, and then he figures it out. "Ohhh, right, secrecy. Gotcha."

Mai rolls her eyes. The alleyway opens into a poorly-lit street, where the merchants are finishing packing up for the day, closing down their stalls and shutting their windows against the threat of rain, the stones underfoot a well-used, smooth gray. They skirt the market square, taking another dark alley that slopes upward, ignoring the catcalls of a drunk slouching outside an open doorway, where loud music and laughter is pouring out onto them. Azula jerks her hood closer around her face and passes quickly; Mai and Sokka follow, matching her speed.

The walls of the palace are visible up ahead, but they continue to wind around until the reach the sewer grate, which Azula deftly unhinges and slips past, keeping close to the wall. Mai hesitates for one moment, long enough to make a disgusted sound in the back of her throat, but follows, and Sokka brings up the rear, wrenching the rusty grate back into place. They only have to travel through the sewers for a few seconds - the passage that will take them back to the palace is concealed only a short walk in.

"So that's how you escape the palace secretly," Sokka muses, and Azula snorts.

"Hardly. Why would you use this to escape?" she asks, motioning for him to follow Mai into the pitch-black passageway. "This is a passage for the younger generations, who want to sneak out and party during a soltice festival or such. The escape tunnels lead in the other direction, toward the volcano." She smiles as she bends a fire in her palm. It's orange rather than blue, but it's sufficient for now. Mai inhales sharply, but otherwise doesn't comment.

It's glorious to bend again.

She leads them back up to Sokka's room, where she pushes him to enter first, to make sure that no one is sneaking around where they aren't wanted. He motions that it's safe to follow, and she and Mai slip silently into his room.

"All right," Sokka says, sounding exhausted. "Now what? We'll have to act quickly, won't we? This is gonna get complicated when Iroh and Suki get here."

"We have to wait," Mai replies. "Iroh has to be here to act as regent so Zuko can take time off and follow us."

"He's going to follow us?" Sokka asks incredulously, and Mai nods. Azula isn't surprised, but she dearly wishes he had _told _her.

"Of course. Him, the Avatar, Katara, and Toph. And probably Suki and Ty Lee, if I know anything about them."

"That's... that's not good," he says, alarmed. "Trust me, none of them are any good at hiding or being secret, except maybe Zuko. They'll get found out."

"You're just going to have to trust them," Azula says, absently fingering the clothing in his wardrobe. "This whole situation seems to be an exercise in trusting people you don't normally trust, doesn't it?"

"Not really," he replies coldly, "just you."

"You flatter me," she says lightly. "I'll work out the details of the Katara problem tonight. Until we have a plan, keep your mouth shut. The last thing we need is for word to get out about this."

"We have to tell Katara!" Sokka cries, alarmed, but Azula shakes her head.

"No. We need her response to be as genuine as possible. If all else fails, we'll work with her to fake her death, but it will be far less complicated to fake an attempt on her life."

"Yeah, but it needs to be an _attempt_," he insists, clearly unwilling to trust Azula to handle this.

"I'm well aware," she replies coolly. "Don't _worry_, Sokka dear, I won't kill your precious _xiao mei._"

"What does that mean?" he asks suspiciously, and Mai answers him.

"It's a term of endearment for a little sister," she says, rolling her eyes. "It's not an insult, you can calm down."

"In fact," Azula continues, smiling openly, "it's a sign of affection. You should be thanking me for being so kind."

"No," he says shortly, and Azula laughs.

* * *

She opens the door the next morning and almost runs directly into her brother, who pushes her right back into her room and closes the door behind her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hisses angrily, and Zuko runs a hand through his hair.

"I spoke with Sokka last night," he says. "He told me what you're planning."

Azula raises an eyebrow, and makes a mental note to teach Sokka how things work when she's in charge. "And? I'm not stupid, and I'm not going to kill your precious waterbender. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Cute, but I've got a better plan."

"Oh?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. Her plan involves gloriously satisfying (and possibly disfiguring) arson, followed by a hasty evacuation by the nobility and probably Katara, assuming that she's half as good a waterbender as everyone says she is. It's a good plan, as far as she's concerned, and it'll be hard to prove that they failed to kill Katara until a much later date. "How so?"

Zuko produces a small pouch of something from his pocket. "White Jade. It's a poisonous plant found in the Earth Kingdom. I have the antidote on-hand, but you wouldn't know about that, would you? So Mai can serve her the tea and we'll have the antidote to her by the time you've all escaped. It's safe, and foolproof."

"My plan is better," she replies airily, but decides to remember White Jade. Poison isn't exactly her style, but it's certainly a good thing to remember. "It's more ambiguous than poison and allows for all of you to disappear immediately after, muddying up the truth about whether or not Katara is dead."

"You plan to set the royal apartments on fire, don't you?"

She grins. "You know me too well, Zuzu."

"This," he says, holding up the pouch, "involves less destruction and mayhem. Besides, I've already spoken to Katara about it, and she's in."

Yes, she thinks, she will definitely be placing the fear of Azula into Sokka's heart. "Why would I poison a healer?" she counters, crossing her arms.

"Why would a fire be allowed to get out of hand in a court of firebenders?" he replies, just as stubborn.

"It would be in the middle of the night. Confusion, chaos, uncertainty - plus, you can play it off as a nasty accident caused by a young firebender and avoid the whole 'conspiracy to kill someone' problem altogether. Besides, you know me," she adds, leaning forward. "Would I use poison or fire to kill someone I wanted dead, hmm?"

She has him there. It's written all over his face, he's already planning for how he's going to clean up the aftermath. Zuko sighs, and curses under his breath. "Fine. But I'm going to warn everyone."

"You can't do that, you idiot. The whole point is that it's a surprise attack."

"I'm at least going to warn Aang and Katara. And whoever else has come in by the time you do it."

"Let me know when Uncle is supposed to arrive. I'll make my move the night before, so you'll still be able to trail us to the rebel base." She holds out her hand. "Deal?"

He examines her carefully, as though he can read her mind, and finally takes her hand. "I'm watching you, Azula," he says in a low voice. "Don't make me regret siding with you."

"Oh, Zuzu, what choice do you have?" she asks lightly, smiling. "Besides, if I turn on you, you won't have time to regret anything."

"That's not reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be," she replies, still grinning. "Now, I have to go speak with a certain Water Tribe boy about secrets and why, when I say they should be kept, they are intended to be kept." She makes for the door, but Zuko stops her.

"You're not supposed to be here, remember?"

She takes a deep, calming breath, and turns to him. "I am walking down the hall to Sokka's room, and you aren't going to stop me."

"It's too dangerous."

"Believe me, Zuzu, if anyone sees me, I will make sure that they do not spread the word. Understand?" She looks from his eyes to the hand on her arm and back, and he reluctantly releases her.

"I'm serious, Azula, this is - "

"I'm well aware of the risk," she replies coolly. "Agni, stop babysitting me. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Zuko mutters, and Azula smiles, slipping out of the room like a ghost. She moves unseen and unheard through the hallways until she reaches Sokka's door, which she throws open without bothering to knock.

The lump on the bed grumbles and shifts slightly. Gently, Azula closes the door behind her and locks it with one swift move.

Silently, she crosses the room and crawls onto the bed, taking great care to avoid waking him, and positions herself so that she's straddling him right around the middle, and waits. In his sleep, Sokka mutters something and turns just slightly - enough. Azula places one hand over his mouth and, with the other, grabs him by the hair, startling him awake.

His startled scream is muffled, and his eyes are bleary with sleep, but horrified. She smiles. "Sokka, baobei," she purrs, "you and I are going to have a little chat." His eyes widen and he struggles, managing to free his hands from the tangled blankets, but she deftly catches them and pins them over his head with one of her own hands, keeping the other firmly pressed over his mouth.

"No, no," she says brightly, "none of that. Now, yesterday evening, I distinctly remember telling you to keep quiet about our little mission, didn't I?"

He doesn't do anything, so she continues, nodding over-dramatically, "Yes, I did. Nod yes, Sokka." He does, and she grins at this. "Good boy. So, you remember that you weren't supposed to talk about it, yes?" He nods again. "So, tell me, _baobei_, why did Zuko come to me this morning with a plan to deal with our problem, explaining that he spoke with you about it last night?"

She releases his mouth, and he tries to cry for help, but his voice comes out hoarse, and Azula shakes her head. "You're just not very good at this, are you?" she clucks, and, with her now-free hand, she reaches around to the back of his neck and digs her fingernails in. He yelps and struggles harder to free himself, but Azula tightens her grip. "You know what I do to people who disobey me, Sokka?"

"What do you do to people who disobey you?" he asks tentatively, and she leans down to his ear.

"I make them pay," she breathes, and runs her tongue against the outer shell of his ear, feeling him shudder beneath her. "You won't disobey me again, will you, Sokka?" she implores, affecting a pleading tone. "I don't want to hurt you. And you," she murmurs, lips barely touching his neck, "you don't want me to hurt you."

"N-no," he stammers, "I don't..."

"No," she repeats, and runs a hand over his chest, using just a little bit of firebending to scorch the path her hand moves. He cries out in pain and frantically tries to escape, but Azula holds him firmly down. "You really don't," she says, all pleading and seduction gone from her voice. "Don't go to your sister for this," she commands, indicating to the burn. "Because if you do..." she threatens, and shifts her hand a little lower. His eyes widen as he catches the threat, and he nods desperately.

"Of, of course, I w-won't - "

"Good," she says, and then climbs off of him and stalks out of the room without another word or a backward glance.

* * *

A/N: I originally had this plan with this story, which was that whenever I felt the need to have a scene break, I would instead have a new chapter (in order to break me of my worrying tendency to have like twenty kajillion scene breaks), but then I uploaded chapter 10 and realized that it was only 1000 words, so I decided to go ahead and consolidate chapters 10 and 11. I know Sokka seems a little wimpy at the ending, but he's also just been woken from a very deep sleep to find a half-crazed firebender on top of him, threatening to burn his balls off, so I think anyone would be willing to compromise in that position.


	11. before i slip away

**opheliac**  
(xi-before i slip away)

The next evening, Zuko tells her that Uncle, with Toph Bei Fong, will be arriving at the capital tomorrow morning, followed shortly by a regiment of Kyoshi Warriors. She tells a scowling Sokka and a tense Mai to wait for her outside the sewer, with plenty of weapons and enough food to last them at least a few days, until she shows up. This part, she wants to do alone.

In order to make it believable, she must set the fire in several different places, but it must be centered in the waterbender's bedroom. When she slinks in through the secret passage, Katara is waiting for her, dancing nervously on her toes.

"Okay," she says, "how do we do this?"

Azula raises an eyebrow. "You don't do anything," she replies, and slips the waterskin from the girl's waist. "Except play the part, which you're clearly terrible at. You're supposed to be asleep, so dress like you've been in bed," she commands. Katara opens her mouth to argue, but Azula is right, so she changes, albeit not without a few extremely dark looks. While she's doing that, Azula empties the waterskin.

"Hey!" she cries, but Azula glares at her.

"You're a waterbender," she says, like it's obvious. "If you had this much water on-hand, would you really let your suite burn? Now, move, you'll need to escape through the main entrance, but I'll set the one in your room last. Give it a few minutes to catch, and then flee - it has to appear genuine, and if you're running before the fire has even caught, it'll be obvious that you were in on it."

"What if I get burned?"

"You're a healer, deal with it," she replies flippantly, and examines the bathroom. Katara, true to form, follows her.

"I don't like this," she says earnestly. "I really prefer Zuko's idea..."

"I really don't care." Azula smiles when she reaches the linen closet - perfect. Lots of cloth to catch fire, plenty of bath oils and soaps to feed the flame. She steps back and shoots a single ball of fire into the closet, and Katara ducks, wincing. She pauses to watch it for a moment, and make sure that it's caught, and is forced to duck as a bottle of oil explodes. It's beautiful.

They walk into the other rooms of the suite, Azula trailing fire as she goes. Katara yelps and leaps out of the way, clearly afraid that this assassination attempt is actually going to work, but Azula just rolls her eyes - it's not like she hasn't faced fire before. She's probably so worried because they're burning a nice palace suite rather than fighting in an open arena or practicing out in the fields. She lights up the powder room in one glorious movement, watching as the expensive silks and linens curl up on themselves and wither into ash. The whole place is beginning to cloud with acrid smoke; Katara covers her face with an arm and coughs.

"I think that's enough," she cries, and Azula is forced to reluctantly agree. She waltzes back into the bedroom and runs her hand against the wall, setting the beautiful tapestries alight as she does - this room used to belong to her, once upon a time, and there's something both sad and incredibly cathartic about destroying her childhood bedroom.

She bows to Katara and presses the little stone by the wardrobe. "All right, _xiao mei_," she trills, and she knows how frightening she must look right now - the wind funneling through the tunnels at her back, the firestorm whipping her hair and clothes into a frenzy, the brilliant orange light casting her features into sharp relief. "Time to narrowly and secretly escape with your life. Remember, you don't know about these passages."

"Okay," Katara cries, turning and fleeing through the flames. Azula closes the passage behind her and makes for the exit. Through the walls, she can hear the muffled sounds of panic rippling through the palace, shouts and screaming and the crackling of fire moving quickly through the halls, catching on the carpets and tapestries. It fades as she continues further down, where news of the fire hasn't reached yet, and then she's crawling into the sewers, where Mai and Sokka are waiting.

"Is Katara okay?" Sokka implores, and Azula waves a hand carelessly.

"Of course she is. Her room - or, should I say, my room - isn't, but that's kind of the point, no?" She opens the grate and slips out into the night, glancing back at the palace. The fire is visible from here, raging out of the window of Azula's old room. She feels a moment of near-maternal pride as she watches it lick and writhe against the stone, and then she turns to the street. "Mai, where are we meeting them?"

"Follow me," she says, and they make their way through the streets, which are beginning to arise with the realization that the palace is burning. Panic ripples through the nearest districts to the palace, but as they get farther and farther from the Caldera, the streets grow quieter; that is, until they reach the red-light district, which is just now settling into its liveliest time of night.

Sokka makes for the _Staggering Naga_, but Mai steers him away, to a slightly nicer pub called the _Crimson Lion_, whose doors are wide open. A woman dressed in beautiful red silks decorated with little copper coins - who Azula realizes suddenly is Praveena - whistles at them, bending backwards over a table. Mai ducks behind her hood and takes a seat at the nearest empty table to her.

"And what may I do for you this fine evening?" she asks, laying the accent on as thickly as she can, clearly playing up the exotic maiden angle to draw attention. It's certainly worked on Sokka, who can't articulate a response. Praveena notices and smiles, before pulling a silk scarf out of her sleeve and wrapping it around his neck, and falls into his lap with a light tinkling of the coins around her waist and on her top.

"It's done," Azula tells her in a low voice. "If you go to the palace now, you'll find them all trying to put out the fire in the waterbender's suite, which, point of fact, belonged to me when I was a child," she says, raising an eyebrow and making it sound like they owe her for doing this.

"Good, good," Praveena croons, and stretches (Sokka turns an odd color of red). "Upstairs, you will find that I have two apartments. Take one. In the morning, we will leave."

Azula nods, and then waves to one of the waitresses, who glares at Praveena until she shimmies away to distract other men. "Three glasses of _shochu_ with hot water, if you please."

"Make that two," Mai says. "I'm not here to drink."

The waitress slinks away, making sure to catch Sokka's eye as she does. "What is shochu?" he asks quietly.

"It's alcohol," Mai drawls, wrinkling her nose. "It's disgusting."

"No, really?" Sokka says, rolling his eyes. "I never would have guessed that it was alcohol."

"Hush, children," Azula mutters, and then glances at Sokka. "It's just a liquor. It has a lovely nutty taste. It's the only alcohol worth drinking."

"It's horrid," Mai counters.

Azula bites back a scream of frustration - she had forgotten how a_nnoying _Mai's constant negativity could be. Really, she's doing her brother a _favor _by taking Mai off his hands. "Well," she says coolly, "you aren't having any. So be quiet."

Their drinks arrive and Azula almost _squeals_ with glee. It's been too long, really, since she's been able to relax like this. At the table, the waitress sets the half-full glasses of water in front of them (Sokka pokes his curiously), and then uses a little burst of firebending to heat the water in each drink, before pouring the clear alcohol into the glasses with the water. It swirls briefly and then settles, a light steam rising from the drinks, smelling deliciously like hazelnuts. Azula breathes deeply and takes a sip - oh, she'll have to remember this pub in the future.

Sokka, however, isn't as enamored of the drink as she is, coughing hard and making a face as he swallows an overlarge gulp. The waitress giggles.

"You drink it slowly, sir," she offers. He beats his chest a couple of times and blinks hard. "Is this your first alcoholic drink?"

"No, no," he insists, although it's plain to see that it is. "Just... stronger than what I'm used to," he lies, completely without success. The waitress giggles again and whispers something in his ear before walking off, leaving Sokka red-faced.

"Let me guess, she just gave you her address?" Azula guesses, smirking.

"And... when she gets off work."

Azula laughs, "Well, look at that. You can have your very own clandestine one-night-stand. How does it feel?"

Mai raises an eyebrow and fidgets a little, as though she's beginning to wish she had something to do with her hands. "Are you going to go?" she asks, and Sokka yelps.

"What? No, of course not!"

"Why not?" Mai continues. "Most men would jump at the chance to have no-strings-attached sex with a pretty stranger."

"I..." he starts, and blanches, "don't do that."

"One-night-stands," Azula asks, sipping her drink, "or sex?"

"One-night-stands," he answers, glaring at her for the suggestion. "Sex, I do."

"Oh _really?_" she says, leaning on the table and smirking. "Do you, now?"

"I do," he repeats, and then coughs. "With my girlfriend."

"Aww," Mai says, falling back on familiarity, joining Azula in making fun of him, "a monogamist. How cute."

"Hey," he hisses, "you're one, too. You're all _Zuko have my babies Zuko Zuko Zuko_. You can't make fun of me."

Mai's eyes narrow at this, but Azula laughs outright. "He's right, you know," she tells Mai, who huffs. "Meanwhile," she says, stretching, "I have no such attachments. Ahh, freedom." She takes another sip of her drink. "You know, back at the palace, they're not having a good night."

"Do you think anyone was hurt?" Sokka asks, all humor vanishing at the thought. Azula shrugs.

"Do I care?" she replies. "Look, you're going to have to give up that 'all life is sacred' thing you've been doing with the Avatar," she tells him in a low voice. "You're on the kill-Zuko side, remember?"

"Yeah, but..." he begins, but she shushes him.

"Just deal with it. You were the one who wanted to go on this mission. I was perfectly content with it being just me and Mai."

"You know why I'm here," he says darkly.

"Right," Mai cuts in, "you're the babysitter, because you don't trust me. We get it. Drink your disgusting alcohol so I can go to bed." Sokka opens his mouth to argue, but decides the better of it, and sips at his drink distastefully.

"How can you enjoy this stuff?" he asks, coughing.

"It's an acquired taste," she replies carelessly.

"It's terrible, isn't it?" Mai asks, folding her hands together and leaning on the table. "Frankly, I think all alcohol is awful, but that swill is beyond disgusting."

"It's not... that bad," Sokka coughs, and Azula shrugs, daintily taking his glass from him.

"More for me, then," she says coolly, but Sokka glares at her and snatches it back. She raises an eyebrow. "Better than you thought?"

"It has a good aftertaste," he replies gruffly, and Azula laughs.

"Thought so. Just you wait, I'll turn you to my side eventually."

"Sure thing, Azula," he says, rolling his eyes. "When badgermoles fly."

"Hmm," she responds, tapping her chin, "I think I could arrange that, actually..."

In spite of himself, Sokka laughs at this. "That's a fantastic mental image," his cries. "A big badgermole with giant fake wings, like Aang's glider or something! That'd be awesome!" He stops laughting suddenly, and begins thinking. "Actually, that might not be so hard..."

"No," Mai says, cutting him off before he can start planning, "you cannot build badgermole wings."

"Why not? Give me one reason why not."

"Because you'll look like a moron, that's why. Not that that's any different for you," she adds, glancing sideways at him, "but I refuse to be associated with men who build wings for badgermoles."

Sokka glares at her, and looks to Azula for support, who hides her laughter behind her glass. "Now, now, Mai," she says lightly, "flying badgermoles could be very useful. They're the original earthbenders, you know."

Mai buries her face in her hands and groans.

* * *

A/N: I found myself facing a conundrum with regards to the Sokka/Azula development in the last chapter. Sokka _does_ have something up his sleeve, but the problem is, Azula doesn't know about it, and since this is from her point of view... So, I want you to understand, it didn't just go away. I considered a few options to make this clearer early on but there was no way to segue into it without having Azula find out or making an abrupt narrative shift over to Sokka's point of view which, after ten chapters of solely being from Azula's, would be rather jarring. Also, I enjoy the Mai/Sokka/Azula dynamic kind of a lot. Review!


	12. you know the games i play

**opheliac**  
(xii-you know the games i play)

The next morning, Ju-Long wakes her up an hour before dawn. It's too early, Azula realizes, to leave - but that's precisely why he wants to go. "Prince Iroh," he says earnestly, "is coming in. I worry that your brother may have learned something of our plan. We must leave immediately, before they have a chance to follow."

A thousand cursewords pass through Azula's mind, but she's just going to have to trust that her brother is a better tracker than she gives him credit for, and she nods. "Of course. What makes you think he knows anything?"

"A few days ago," Ju-Long replies, respectfully turning away while Azula rises, "he was seen leaving the prison. He may have discovered that Lord Ozai has escaped."

"Yes," Azula says, pretending to mull it over. "That's possible. All right, I'll wake Lady Mai and - Koda," she continues, catching herself before she accidentally calls Sokka by his real name. "We will be ready to leave within a few minutes."

"Yes, Princess," he says, bowing steeply and leaving. She walks out of the bedroom and into the little living room of Praveena's rented apartment, where Sokka and Mai are sharing a futon, but only in the barest definition of the word 'sharing,' sleeping as far as physically possible away from each other.

"Up," she shouts, and lights the sconces on the walls with a quick blast of firebending. Mai groans and rolls onto her back, blinking away sleep, but Sokka doesn't even budge.

"What's going on?" Mai croaks.

"We're leaving. I know," she adds, seeing the look on Mai's face, and continues in a much quieter voice, "Zuko will just have to track us. We can leave a trail. Get him up," she says loudly, indicating to Sokka. Mai rolls her eyes and hits him on the back of the head, and he startles awake with a yelp, flopping off the little futon and scrambling into an attack stance.

"What the..." he cries, and then relaxes. "What's going on?"

"We're leaving," Azula repeats, and begins hastily tidying up the apartment. "Get dressed. Ju-Long is waiting on us."

"But..." Sokka begins, but Mai stops him.

"Just do it," she whispers.

They dress quickly, yawning and stretching, and make their way down to the tavern in less than a quarter of an hour. Praveena and Ju-Long are seated at one of the tables, dressed for travel. When they reach them, Ju-Long nods at Praveena, who pays off the bartender and swipes a bottle of sake before rejoining the little crew. Something silver glints at her waist - a metal belt? Azula tries to get a better look at it, but the way Praveena moves seems as though it's engineered to disguise herself, so she can't quite tell what it is.

"Princess Azula, Lady Mai," Ju-Long says, bowing to each of them, "I trust you slept well?"

"Short," Azula replies coolly, "but well enough, yes. Where were you last night?"

"Finishing up a few things at the palace, milady."

"Making sure I did what I said I did," she translates. Ju-Long hesitates, but nods.

"One can never be too certain," he gives by way of explanation, bowing slightly. "Your work was excellent. The waterbender is no longer a threat, thanks to you."

"Of course," she says airily.

Praveena leads them out of the tavern and they skirt the docks - off in the distance, she can see Uncle's ship coming in, silhouetted against the horizon. Zuko will be here soon to see him in. She glances at the ship and then to Mai, who does something with her hand, and drops a small token on the ground, unnoticed by Praveena ahead of them or Ju-Long at Azula's side. It will have to be sufficient.

"We have small groups scattered around the Fire Nation," Praveena says softly, pulling her thick, dark hair up into a messy topknot. "We will be taking you to the largest, the, ah, base camp, if you will. Lord Ozai's second-in-command is stationed there."

"Third-in-command," Azula corrects, raising an eyebrow. "I am second."

"Oh, yes," Praveena stammers and bows shortly, clearly unsure of how to act around Azula. Mai snickers under her breath. "The locations of each of the bases are secret, of course, though I am sure you will be able to inquire about them when we arrive."

"I will," she assures, and glances back at the harbor, where Uncle's ship is continuing inexorably towards them as the sun begins to rise fully. "Lord Ju-Long," she says sharply, and the man turns toward her, "what is your relationship with my Uncle?"

Ju-Long watches her for a moment, trying to read her expression, but answers, "I served under Prince Iroh until the seige at Ba Sing Se. Following his - _our _failure," he corrects himself, "I retired."

"Why?" she asks, "Surely you wanted to regain your honor following the defeat?"

Ju-Long takes a deep breath. "My oldest son, Sheng, died honorably in the battle."

"You resigned in protest," she says, catching on. "You disagreed with Uncle's retreat."

"Yes, milady. His cowardly retreat cast shame on my son and all the others who died with honor on that battlefield. You, however," he continues with a small smile, "won that honor back when you took Ba Sing Se several months ago."

"Unfortunately, it was lost," she mutters, but Ju-Long doesn't seem to mind.

"It will be re-won, milady. With you at the helm of our army, we cannot lose."

She watches him carefully, and wonders what he thinks of Father. With the emphasis he places on honor, no doubt he thinks that Father was disgraced on the day of Sozin's Comet - so why support him now? Clearly, he thinks that Uncle's disgrace was higher than Father's, or at least more personal, but why can't he support Zuko, who has supposedly regained his honor with the populace? She decides to voice this, and watch his response. "One thing I don't understand, Lord Ju-Long, is why you support my father. Do you believe that he is more honorable than my uncle?"

"Yes," Ju-Long replies, in a measured, guarded tone. "He may have been disgraced on the day of the comet, but he is far more honorable than Prince Iroh has been in years."

"But why support him and not my brother?"

"Fire Lord Zuko," he says, "sacrificed what honor he had when he fought against the Fire Nation on that day. Were he a true son of Agni, he would have supported his nation until the bitter end."

"You believe him a traitor, then?" she asks, already working out Ju-Long's intentions, and they look good for her.

"He is, milady. Lord Ozai was simply the lesser of three evils."

"Was?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Mai drop another token. By now, Zuko has no doubt found their first one. She hopes that he realizes what it means at the same time that she almost hopes he doesn't. She likes what she's hearing from Ju-Long, and she likes the thought of sweeping both her father and her brother out of the picture and re-taking her throne in a decisive attack.

"Now, milady, we have _you_. Our trump card. You deserve the title of Fire Lord."

Azula smiles. Yes, she likes Ju-Long quite a lot. Sokka is watching her warily, and she suddenly remembers that he's there. She sighs. "Thank you, Lord Ju-Long. I'm glad to know that some of my people still have sense."

Behind her, Praveena is discussing something with Sokka, who is too preoccupied with making sure that Azula keeps to the straight and narrow to notice. Mai, meanwhile, is paying attention to the strange woman. She meets Azula's eyes and raises one eyebrow, so she falls back to talk about whatever is bothering the usually gloomy girl. When she's standing right beside her, she can see that Mai is extremely tense.

"Do you see that?" she asks in a low voice.

"See what?" Azula replies in the same tone.

"Around her waist," Mai mutters, indicating to the woman.

"What is it? It looks like a belt," she says.

"I've heard of it before," Mai says darkly, "only a couple of times. People talk about it like it's a legend - it's called an _urumi_."

"I've never heard of it..." Azula muses. "What's so special about it?"

Mai is about to respond when Praveena notices them. "Do you like my belt?" she asks lightly, smiling. "It is a specialty."

Ju-Long takes notice, and smiles. "Our Praveena is a special woman indeed, Princess. You will not be disappointed in her abilities."

"I'm sure," Azula replies.

* * *

They break for lunch close to a stream on the outskirts of a thick jungle that Sokka in particular is watching warily. At their level, everything is still, but the air is alive with the calls of monkeys and apes and all manner of birds and insects - all unseen, lurking in the canopy above them. Ju-Long pulls out a large machete and cuts a path for himself, pledging to return soon with food.

Azula sits perched on a rock, amused as Sokka's discomfort. "The jungle isn't going to eat you," she tells him, but his expression doesn't change.

"Where are all the animals?" he asks suspiciously, like they're all planning his gruesome murder somewhere.

"In the trees, of course," she replies, glancing up. "Most of them spend their whole lives without ever coming down, you know."

"No," he says uneasily, "I didn't. Is that... natural?"

It's Praveena who laughs out loud at this. "Are all Water Tribesmen so amusing? No wonder you keep him around." She continues to chuckle to herself, stretching out like a cat and laying down on her back to bask in the sunlight while she can - the wet season is coming in hard, and rainclouds are already swirling to the south, shrouding the mountains from view.

"He is a source of endless amusement," Mai adds sardonically, inspecting one of her knives carefully. Azula suddenly - and painfully - recognizes it: it belongs to Zuko. Something within tightens at the sight, and she desperately wishes that she didn't need Mai for this.

"Yeah, that's me," Sokka grumbles, "the comic relief." He continues to watch the path where Ju-Long disappeared. "So, how do the animals live if they never leave the trees? Don't they get thirsty?"

Praveena is overcome with hysterical laughter at this; Sokka glares at her. "They get all the water they need from the fruit," Azula replies, making a concerted effort to ignore Mai. "It's never dry in the jungles, anyway. There's plenty of water to go around, and a lot of streams, besides."

"I just," he begins, trying to wrap his head around it, and scratches the back of his head with a carving knife, finally shrugging. "That's so weird. So, what kinds of animals live in the jungle?"

"Oh, all kinds," Praveena replies, still snickering. "All sorts of monkeys, a few kinds of large ape - I have heard that some elephants live out in the most remote parts of the jungles, although I cannot say I have ever seen them. Mongoose-dragons, komodo-rhinos... Ooh," she adds, as though just remembering, with a sly grin, "and my favorite, _jaguars_."

"What are jaguars?" Sokka asks uneasily. Praveena sits up, eyes glittering.

"They are giant spotted cats, and they are _amazing_ hunters. They stay almost invisible until they _pounce_," she says, jumping for Sokka with the last word, causing him to yelp and stumble back a bit. She smiles with a full mouth of teeth, looking suddenly very feral and exotic. "Jaguars are one of the deadliest hunters in the jungle, and you cannot escape from one once it has spotted you."

"So, um, what do you do about them?" he asks, shuffling back into his seat, eying Praveena like she's going to lunge for his throat.

"Nothing," Azula says, suddenly cutting into the conversation carelessly. "They don't attack humans unless threatened. If we leave them alone, they'll leave us alone."

"Why don't they attack humans?"

"We're too big," Mai replies, sighing. "And too hard to kill."

Praveena, though, is shaking her head. "Legend says that the gods allowed the jaguars to survive, only if they swore that they would not seek out humans as prey. If one wanted, it could easily kill a human," she continues airily. "They can bite straight through a man's skull."

Sokka stares at her, and blinks several times as though he can make that image somehow less horrifying. "Is that true?" he asks Mai and Azula, who both shrug.

"Probably," Azula replies uncaringly. "Don't _worry_," she adds, seeing the horror on his face. "We won't see any. They're skittish."

"And if we do," Mai says, shrugging, "Azula can just throw some fire at it to make it go away."

"Fire in a jungle?" Praveena asks. "No, Princess, leave it to me," she assures, patting her belt - the _urumi_, if Mai is to be believed.

Azula waves her off. "It doesn't really matter. Jaguars aren't much of a threat, all things considered. Now, what did you say about _elephants?_"

Praveena is about to explain, when Ju-Long returns, his large, conical hat filled with a nice variety of fruit. He's sweating and looks quite a bit worse for wear - Azula imagines that he had to fight for the food, no doubt against a few extremely territorial and angry monkeys. It's an amusing mental image, at least, so she decides to believe it.

"Thank you, Lord Ju-Long," Azula says, and he bows deeply to her, setting the hat down at her feet.

"Anything for my lady," he replies, and then stretches. "I am going to swim to cool off for a moment, if you will excuse me."

"Of course," she replies absently, picking up a orangeberry and examining it. Sokka appears to be fascinated by the whole concept of lemons, which is hilarious to watch. "Oh, look," she says to Mai, gesturing at him, "we have a show with our food."

"You don't eat the peel," Mai hisses, smacking his hand away. He glares at her.

"I knew that!"

Praveena snickers. "You _are_ a funny one." Sokka glowers.

"I'm not even trying to be funny. You people are just mean." He bites into the lemon, and then chokes, making a face. "What is this?" he coughs.

"It's a lemon, idiot," Azula tells him, snickering. "Don't tell me you've never seen a lemon before?" She rifles through the fruits, cooing with happiness when she comes across a tangerine. "Ooh," she murmurs. Sokka glares at her and hunts for something better.

"What is this?" he asks, holding up a thick, spiny bulb. Praveena sits up.

"Oh, Ju-Long, you found pineapple?" she cries, glancing behind her to the stream, where Ju-Long is returning, using his shirt to dry off his neck.

"I did," he replies, smiling, and ruffles her hair. "I know how much you love them."

"How do you eat it?" Sokka asks flatly, inspecting the bulb. Praveena takes it from his hand and holds it out between them.

"Here," she says, pulling out a knife, "you have to - see?" She cuts the pineapple into large chunks, exposing the bright yellow fruit, and twists off the crown, which she tosses aside. Then, she begins slicing the fruit lengthwise, and cuts the shell and core off, handing out the edible part to Sokka. "Try it, it is amazing," she mutters, slipping a chunk into her mouth and savoring it with ecstasy. Sokka tries it, chewing curiously.

"It's not bad," he says finally, and reaches for more, but Praveena smacks his hand away and takes the rest of the pineapple for herself. Sokka grumbles and begins hunting for something more to eat, landing on a handful of medium-sized, bright yellow-orange fruits. "What are these?" he asks, suspicious because of the lemon.

"Sundrops," Mai replies, carving a fig-apple and eating the quarters. "We should get moving soon," she says, glancing at the sky, "before the storm comes in."

Ju-Long, peeling a tangerine, nods. "Koda, can you take the rest of the fruit?" Sokka barely catches on, clearly having forgotten about his fake name.

"Wha...? Oh, right," he adds hastily. "Gotcha." He glances at the fruit, and then to his pack, and sighs. "Guess I'll just... Go for it, huh?" he mutters, and then opens his pack and tips the whole hat-full of fruit into it, wincing at the mess, before handing the hat back to Ju-Long, who smiles.

"Thank you, Koda," he says, and stands again, putting his shirt back on and pulling his machete out again. "We'll be striking out this way," he calls, indicating vaguely south, toward the mountains, directly into the deepest, darkest parts of the jungle. "It's a short trip by air, but a couple of days hard walking, so let's keep moving. You may want to keep behind me, Princess," he adds, "because I'll be clearing our path."

Azula nods absently, paying more attention to her surroundings than her companions. The jungle is... expansive, to say the least, and it has the strange ability to erase everything outside of its borders - walking into the rainforest is like walking into a completely alien world, and it caves in around her like a pillow, or a womb, with its own pulse, the sounds of all the hidden animals beating against them like a heart. It's eerie, ethereal, and completely breathtaking all at once. She wants both to stay here forever and flee from it as fast as possible.

Sokka draws closer to her, clearly uneasy in this world, so unlike his own. She smiles softly and marches forward in spite of his (and her own) uncertainty, head held high.

* * *

A/N: A couple of things. 1) I admit, I have a thing about rainforests. 2) Those little remarks about elephants and jaguars are true, and no, they're not foreshadowing. If I ever have Sokka and/or Azula get suddenly attacked by a random jungle elephant, you all have permission to reach through the internet and smack me. 3) In previous chapters, characters used the term _baobei_, which means "sweetheart" or "darling" and I should have mentioned it earlier but, well, I'm not always so great at life.


	13. and the words i say

**opheliac**  
(xiii-and the words i say)

Sokka takes the first watch, entirely against his will, but with surprising grace (he only mutters a single curseword against Azula and seems to let go of the whole issue after dinner). Ju-Long, exhausted by the long day of walking and climbing - and, Azula thinks, fighting off wild monkeys - falls onto his bedroll and appears to be asleep within moments; Mai carefully lays out her bedroll as far as possible from Azula and tries to block all of them out moments after she lays down; Praveena makes her bed but merely sits on it, taking out a pouch of bones and other knick-knacks and studying them intently.

Azula, however, is restless, in spite of the moon and the autumn, both of which are supposed to be opponents of firebenders. She wanders over to Praveena, deciding that she's more interesting than Sokka is, at least for now.

"Divining?" she guesses, sitting down next to the dark woman, who nods.

"I am not an expert," she replies, shrugging. "My mother, she could read anyone's future by glancing at their faces, but I did not inherit her gift. I learned a few things about fortune-telling from her, though not much."

"Why not?" Azula asks, thinking privately that it's all rather silly, but playing along for the sake of amusement. "If I were you, I would have learned all that I could..."

"She died," Praveena answers shortly, "when I was young. I barely remember her; most of what I know I learned from my sister. She did inherit Mother's gift," she adds, with a note of bitterness. "Anyway," she continues, waving off the bad memory like smoke, "I only know a little about it. The future does not look good, though I cannot exactly tell for whom."

"The future never looks good," Azula says absently, examining a bright red stone sitting near a bone fragment. Praveena notices where her attention is focused.

"The fire stone," she says, "next to the knife," she indicates to the bone fragment, which Azula supposes could look a bit like a knife, "means betrayal." For half a second, Azula's blood runs cold, and then she remembers how fortune-telling works - by taking a few little bits of information and twisting them into answers that could apply to any question.

"Mai," she offers calmly. Praveena looks up, so Azula continues, "She and Zuko cheated on each other." This pacifies the other woman's suspicions.

"That would certainly apply," she muses, and then sighs. "I have never been good at this," she says with an apologetic smile. "I wish I was, though. It would be a fascinating talent, to read the future."

"Not really," Azula says coolly. "Much easier, and more reliable, to simply read people."

Praveena smirks, "Ah, yes, that is what you are known for, is it not? Princess Azula, the great mind-reader."

She laughs and waves off the compliment, "Hardly. I'm just a people person, is all. I don't really buy divination and mind-reading anyway. Most of it is just smoke and mirrors." Praveena shrugs.

"I agree with you in general," she says slowly, "but my mother... they say that she was cursed by a god, or a very powerful spirit. To always know the future, but to never be believed."

"That's quite the curse," Azula replies, "but I don't believe in those either."

"No?" Praveena asks, raising an eyebrow. "You are very brave, then."

Azula starts to respond, but thinks the better of it. Something about Praveena sets her ill at ease - the woman practically _reeks _of secrets and lies and shadows. There's much more to her than meets the eye, and Azula can't quite figure out what that is, which is an unsettling situation, and one that she does not like at all. It reminds her of her uncertainty following Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal at the Boiling Rock, and she will give anything to avoid ever going back to that state of mind.

"Where are you from?" she asks, instead, to clear her mind. Praveena focuses on her lithomancy, and makes an annoyed sound before sweeping all of the rocks and bones back into their pouch.

"The mountains," she replies evasively.

"Which mountains?"

"The big ones."

It's clear that Praveena will not be divulging any further information, so Azula stands and walks over to where Sokka is perched on a downed tree, cleaning his sword and boomerang, looking wary.

"What's bothering you?" Azula asks, and Sokka shrugs.

"I can't stop thinking about jaguars now. I keep expecting one to show up and eat me."

"You need not worry," Praveena says, startling them, "The jungle fears us," she continues, with a cold smile that leaves Azula unsettled. "It knows that we are dangrous, and it does not wish to fight."

"I wouldn't underestimate it," Sokka replies uncertainly, but Praveena waves him off.

"There is nothing to fear here, Koda," she tells him, eyes glinting. "We are gods among insects. We have all the power."

Azula feels like she's supposed to agree - and, what feels like a lifetime ago, when she traveled with Mai and Ty Lee, she might have - but she's inclined to agree with Sokka about this. The jungle is teeming with life, larger and stronger and wilder than any of them, and life, she has learned, will always find a way to thrive, given half a chance.

Sokka watches Praveena with an odd look on his face, like he's seeing something dark and scary in the other woman's face, and falls quiet, paying more attention to his sword than is altogether necessary. "I don't like her," he murmurs to Azula. Pride should force her to stand against him, but sensibility is telling her otherwise.

"She's on our side," she replies quietly. "We just need to keep her that way."

"And what side is this?" he asks, a deep foreboding in his voice. Azula just looks at him. Praveena, meanwhile, is distracted by something in the distance.

"Hmm, I think perhaps we are being stalked," she says quietly, and Sokka turns white.

"What makes you say that?" Mai asks, walking up to them and folding her hands into her sleeves, tense.

"Look, in the understory," she mutters, nodding vaguely east. "Wild komodo rhino, a big one" Praveena continues, placing a hand on her waist and pulling at the silver belt. It uncoils and then recoils into a tight circle. Sokka touches his sword, but Praveena shakes her head. "Leave this to me, Koda, Princess, Lady Mai. I will take care of the problem."

They watch and, throwing propriety and sanity to the wind, follow her as she slips through the trees like a ghost. All of a sudden, the ground shakes as a huge komodo rhino leaps out of a massive tree and lands directly in front of Praveena, who doesn't even flinch. Azula throws out her arms to stop Mai and Sokka, and they all back away into the bushes, hiding, to better watch what the strange, dark woman plans to do.

She makes eye contact with the beast, and slowly begins to circle around it, while it snorts angrily and claws at the ground, preparing to charge. Praveena flicks her wrist, and the silver weapon unfurls with a sharp _crack, _gouging a mark into a tree. The weapon moves like a whip, and she like a dancer, twirling and flicking it over and around her head, lashing out at the komodo rhino with a series of sharp, staccato attacks, as she avoids the charging, infuriated - and wounded, now - creature.

The weapon makes loud snapping sounds every time Praveena flicks her wrist, which is the only way any of them know where it is; it moves so fast and wildly that it seems to have a life of its own. Every strike that lands on the komodo rhino draws blood from the thick hide, and Praveena keeps moving so that she's constantly hitting it on new skin, finally striking a vicious blow to the creature's face, tearing through its eyes. It screams and charges blindly, straight for them, hiding in the underbrush. Both Sokka and Mai flinch before reaching for their weapons, but Azula summons a blast of fire and hits the rhino in its ruined face.

It howls again, and lurches upward as Mai throws a series of knives, which embed themselves in its throat, cutting its scream off sharply and ending the fight. Praveena is gasping for breath and appears furious - not out of protection, but pride.

"Why did you do that?" she cries, glaring at Mai. "I _had _it."

"It attacked Azula," Mai answers, and anyone else would have thought that she's entirely emotionless about it, but Azula catches the bite of anger in her tone. "I was merely protecting my leige."

"That was _my _kill," Praveena spits furiously.

"Calm down," Azula commands, watching the strange woman carefully. Her eyes are glinting with anger and something else - bloodlust? The woman is dangerous, Azula decides, and quite possibly entirely mad. "Mai's daggers wouldn't have killed it if you hadn't weakened it. How did you do that, anyway?"

Praveena sneers at Mai. "I killed it," she says coldly. "If you had done nothing, it would have died within minutes." She stalks over to the dead beast and jerks Mai's three knives out of the bloody throat, and doesn't appear to even notice the blood all over her hands and sleeves. "Take your knives. You are a coward to fight the way you do." Mai's eyes narrow, and she opens her mouth to respond, but Ju-Long - who none of them had noticed following them - stops her.

"Praveena," he says sharply, "Lady Mai is not a coward for choosing a different method of attack than you." The woman glowers at him, but doesn't speak again, instead pulling a cloth out of her sleeve and cleaning her weapon mechanically, before wrapping it around her waist again. "Now," Ju-Long says, much calmer, "let's get back to camp."

"Should we, um," Sokka asks, gesturing at the komodo rhino. Everyone stares blankly at him until Azula finally catches on.

"Oh, the meat," she says, and understanding ripples around the group. She glances at Ju-Long. "Do we need it?"

"No, milady," he replies, bowing shortly to her the way he always does when he addresses her. "The camp has more than enough food. Thank you for the concern, though, Koda."

Praveena lets out a short bark of a laugh. "Komodo Rhino meat is terrible anyway," she says savagely, casting a glare at Mai as she passes and placing a hand on Sokka's cheek, clearly hoping to anger the other girl. "A man of taste such as yourself wouldn't want anything like that."

Her hand leaves a bloody mark on Sokka's face, which throws his features into sharp relief and only intensifies his dark expression. He glances from Praveena to Azula and then to Mai, whose mask of indifference has fallen into place and isn't giving any hints as to her thought process. Because she knows Mai, Azula knows that she's furious, but she thinks that even Zuko wouldn't be able to tell that right now.

"I don't know," Mai says coolly. "It's just a matter of taste."

* * *

A/N: This was originally two separate chapters that I merged into one after deciding that I'd rather not include a certain scene. Also, the _urumi _is a real weapon. On my profile, you can find a video showing it in action (which was what, I admit, convinced me to use it here). Tell me what you think!


	14. when i want my own way

**opheliac**  
(xiv-when i want my own way)

They arrive in the base camp at dusk, when the jungle sky is blood-red and the eerie quality of twilight is around them, throwing shadows around the camp like phantoms, and echoing with the calls of animals and insects in the air above them. The camp itself appears skeletal, here on the ground floor, but that's because most of the people have - like the rest of the jungle - taken to the trees.

It's not an overly elaborate camp, having only been set following Zuko's rise to the throne, but it's sufficient, and both Ju-Long and Praveena are clearly familiar with it and the people in it, smiling and laughing and introducing their new members around. Mai - still angry over the komodo rhino incident - has fallen into her usual cold propriety, the sort that she uses when she's at a party with her parents, and Sokka maintains a slightly strained smile and tries to hide his ever-growing worry at the realization of the sheer size of this rebellion.

Azula, on the other hand, hasn't felt this alive since she traveled the Earth Kingdom with Mai and Ty Lee.

"Milady," Ju-Long says, bowing, and leads Azula to the largest of the makeshift huts suspended in the understory. He brushes aside a cloth that hangs over the entrance, and Azula steps inside, followed closely by Sokka and Mai, and greets the de facto leader of the resistance. "This is Lady Chunhua," he adds, and respectfully takes his place near the door.

Azula is surprised, although in retrospect, she thinks that she shouldn't be - of course, Zhao's daughter would lead the resistance against Zuko.

Chunhua is older than Azula by several years, being at least twenty, and carries herself so regally that she makes Mai look like a ragged peasant; she is dressed in a beautiful red silk _aodai _adorned with a pattern of golden koi fish running up the right side. She is holding - in perfectly manicured hands - a small teacup that looks vaguely familiar to Azula, also patterned in red and gold. Her shining black hair is elaborately styled in a way that normal people's aren't in the jungle - indeed, if Azula didn't know for a fact that they are sitting in a little hut in a rainforest out in the middle of nowhere, she might have thought that Chunhua was taking tea with her in-laws.

She is, it seems, already prepared to be back at court.

She sips daintily at her tea, and then nods at Ju-Long, who leaves with only a moment of hesitation, and then smiles at Azula. "Princess," she says, in a warm, soft voice, "I am so glad to see that you have joined us. The journey was not too troubling, I trust?"

"No, Lady Chunhua," Azula replies, matching the other woman's gentility. She doesn't know much about Zhao's daughter, but she did know Zhao, and she would be willing to bet everything she owns that Chunhua is as deadly as she is beautiful, which means that it's crucial that they keep her in the dark as to their real intentions, and very firmly on their side. "It was easy. Ju-Long is a good leader."

"I know," she says, in the same warm tone. "He was a good friend of my father's, if you remember. When Father died, Ju-Long stepped in to help my family through the troubling time."

Sokka is watching with reverence and confusion - no doubt thinking that there is no way this delicate little woman could possibly be the real leader - and opens his mouth to speak, but Mai glares at him until he thinks the better of it.

"No, Lady Mai," Chunhua insists, setting her teacup down with a tiny little _chink_ of impossibly good porcelain, and folds her hands into her lap. "Let the Water Tribesman speak." She turns to Sokka, the picture of interest, "What is it you were going to ask, my lord?"

The woman's stiff, traditional Fire Nation manners clearly both flatter and unnerve Sokka, who stammers for a moment before answering, in a surprisingly strong voice, "I was just wondering how such a - an elegant woman like you comes to lead... this kind of resistance." Chunhua laughs lightly - and also fakely, Azula notices, having spent enough time around Fire Nation nobility to tell the difference - and it sounds like the ringing of bells. Sokka appears fascinated by her, no doubt against his will.

"My father was Admiral Zhao, my lord," she replies sweetly, "so you could say that I was born to it. My allegiance lies with the Fire Nation, now and always, and I am only doing as I am sure my father would have done, if he were here."

"Zhao was your father?" Sokka asks, dumbstruck, and Mai coughs, clearly wishing that Sokka would keep his mouth shut. But Sokka thinks that Chunhua is, if not harmless, then at least kind, and that she sees him as a warrior of standing rather than an insect to scrape off the sole of her shoe. He thinks that he can speak with her easily and friendly, the way he speaks with everyone, which makes Azula wonder just who he's been hanging around that he has this impression of nobility.

And then she remembers - Zuko, and the child Avatar, and the rest of his crew. Of course Sokka is completely ignorant of Fire Nation customs.

"Forgive him," Azula says sharply, cutting into the conversation. "Koda is originally from the Water Tribes, as you can see, and is not well-versed in the traditions of the Fire Nation."

"What did I do wrong?" he asks blankly, and Mai growls under her breath.

"He meant," she tells Chunhua, but for Sokka's benefit, "that he did not realize that _Admiral_ Zhao was your father."

Chunhua gives him that same warm smile, and picks up her teacup again. "Of course not," she replies kindly, "I would not expect a Water Tribesman to understand our traditions. Yes, Master Koda, Admiral Zhao was my father. He, as you might know, died with great honor and distinction at the Siege of the Northern Water Tribe. I trust there is no lingering ill will?" she adds lightly, tilting her head, feeling out Sokka's intentions and allegiances.

"No, no," he lies, barely masking a note of bitterness, waving his arms around for effect. Mai closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to contain her irritation. "I was from the Southern Tribe, so no hard feelings. And besides, I'm a naturalized Fire Nation citizen now."

"Are you?" she asks, sipping from her tea. "For how long?"

"Almost a year," he answers, beginning to realize that he should be treading far lighter than this with Chunhua. "When Princess Azula began her search for the Avatar, she passed through the tribe, and took a few prisoners. I was among them."

"And this convinced you to join us?" she replies skeptically.

"No, not exactly," he says, sweating, and glances at Mai, "but, ah, Lady Mai convinced me."

"Did she?" Chunhua answers, sounding amused, and glances at Mai. "I would not have expected... You are loyal, then, to our cause?"

"I am," he replies firmly, desperately trying to fix his earlier mistake of underestimating Chunhua.

"And what did Lady Mai do that convinced you so thoroughly that you should give up your old life and join the enemies of your boyhood?"

"They're in love," Azula answers sardonically, injecting her voice with just enough distaste to make it believable. "Sickening, I know," she continues, and rolls her eyes, "but there's not much that Koda won't do for Mai."

"Love?" Chunhua asks, surprised, "but what about the Fire Lord, Lady Mai? Were you not his escort?"

"For a time," she replies coolly, "but my heart wasn't in it - nor, it seemed, was his," she adds darkly. "We have both found others."

"Yes," the lady muses, "I heard the most strange rumors about a waterbender... Are they true?"

"Unfortunately."

"Interesting..." she says, tapping her fingers against her teacup. "There must be some kind of magic in the Water Tribe blood, for their members to be so... _sought after_." She peers at Sokka in the gloom, and then reaches out and lights a candle with a touch of her fingers. The fire blazes bright orange for a moment before calming down, and Chunhua raises it to look closer at Sokka. The light throws her features into sharp relief, and for a split second, the normally immaculate woman looks almost feral. The second passes, and she again appears to be no more than any other high-ranking noble. "I admit, he is not ugly - but what could convince a woman of Lady Mai's standing to abandon the Fire Lord for a mere savage?" she asks, in an even voice, and Sokka bristles at the words, but doesn't dare speak against them.

He's learning to fear Chunhua, Azula thinks. Good. "I don't know," Azula replies, leaning on her hand as elegantly as she can. "Love must be a stronger force than even I expected."

Chunhua shudders slightly, and somehow manages to make even this seem regal. "Well," she says firmly, "I will be watching you. I've found that men do not turn from their pasts as easily as some may think, even for the love of a beautiful woman," she adds, nodding at Mai. "As for you, Princess Azula," she says, and stands, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress, and folds her hands together gently, "if you will come with me, I will take you to your accommodations. Ju-Long will see to Lady Mai and Master Koda. I would like very much to speak with you alone."

Mai tenses beside her, but Azula nods. "Of course, Lady Chunhua. I will see you," she adds, glancing at Mai and Sokka, "later."

She follows Chunhua out of the little hut and around the winding paths built into the trees. It all seems far too elaborate to have been built only two months ago - but then, she thinks, glancing at her host, Chunhua is Zhao's daughter, and no doubt has been planning rebellion or revenge since her father's death, probably having seen the way the wind was blowing. Zhao was always dangerous because of his foresight, and Azula isn't putting it past his daughter to be the same way. They follow a path upwards, crossing over to a different tree, and duck beneath the hanging vines and moss to enter another little hut.

This hut is not much larger than the meeting room they were just in, but more elegantly styled, decorated with Fire Nation tapestries and rugs, and the roof is reinforced to make it more secure from the rain. Chunhua bows to the bed and crosses her arms.

"Now, Princess, tell me why you have really come."

There's a prickling on the back of Azula's neck that has always warned her so well of danger. "As I told Ju-Long, Lady. I came to join my father."

"You and I both know that's a lie," she replies easily, and then takes a seat in a beautiful hardwood chair with silken padding - like a throne, Azula thinks suddenly. "Lord Ozai cannot bend any longer, and he will be looking for a weak ruler to place on the throne. He is more likely to side with your brother than with you! And I know," she continues, raising an eyebrow, "that you are not so stupid as to expect a welcome from him. So tell me the truth, Princess."

Azula turns away to examine the room further, and to stall for time. She's firmly in Chunhua's court now; there won't be any easy escape. If pressed, Azula could certainly burn everything down, but that would involve a fight - and she's unwilling to fight Chunhua, at least not until she knows her adversary a little better - and would cause more devastation and attention than Azula wants. Her mind races desperately to find an excuse, and lands on the nearest thing to the truth she can find without giving up everything, "You're right, Lady. I admit, part of me does hope for such a warm welcome, but I do not plan - and have never planned - for the best." She turns around and sits on the bed, face a mask of indifference. "But I would rather take my chances with Father than with my brother and the Avatar," she lies, and then smirks. "Besides, as you said, my father can no longer bend. He is less dangerous to me than Zuko."

"You plan to kill him, then?" Chunhua says, and it comes out so simply that Azula is taken off-guard.

"If I must," she replies, and finds that it's true - the Avatar won't have the balls to do it, and someone must, after all. The thought simultaneously makes her ill and doesn't affect her at all; she both wants to make her father bleed and run into his arms.

"So you will take the throne?"

"Yes," Azula answers, seeing where this conversation is going.

"Good," Chunhua says, nodding. "The people will rally behind you moreso than your father. You are the powerful leader we really need." The lady stands and bows shortly to Azula. "We will discuss strategy at a later time, Princess. Until then, sleep well."

With that, she leaves the room in a flutter of silk and perfume.

* * *

A/N: I'm warning you ahead of time: **the following chapter is not for the faint of heart.** This story is rated M for a reason, and the next chapter _will _earn that rating.


	15. you know the lies i tell

**A/N:** Again, I'm warning you: this chapter is not for the faint of heart. If you have a weak stomach, I suggest you skip down to the line break.

* * *

**opheliac**  
(xv-you know the lies i tell)

The horizon is just beginning to glow pink when Azula is pulled out of bed, "for a serious purpose," the servant tells her. She meets up with Mai, who is somewhat ruffled but mostly together, and Sokka, who looks as though he would like nothing more than to curl up right on the wooden planks and sleep.

"D'you know what this is about?" he asks, stifling a yawn. Azula shakes her head.

"No," she replies, and almost runs into an over-alert Ju-Long, "but _you_ might. What is this about?"

Ju-Long coughs, and bows deeply. "I, ah," he says, and shifts uncomfortably, "it's a matter of importance," is all he tells them.

It becomes apparent when they reach the forest floor - ropes have been strung sometime in the night, and between them is suspended a man clad only in white bindings, fighting angrily for freedom or vengeance. A ceremony of sorts has been laid out, vaguely familiar to Azula, with pure white silken cloths covering a series of three rich, dark wood tables, all out of place in their surroundings. On each table is a single, silver-bladed knife carved with ancient characters. She can't get close enough to read them, but she's reasonably certain that they're some kind of invocation to the dead.

"Execution or interrogation?" Mai asks softly, also paying attention to the knife.

"Execution," Azula replies in the same tone. "I think I've seen this ceremony somewhere before, or heard of it..."

"It's called _lingchi_," a voice says from behind them, and Chunhua flutters forward. "And yes, my lady, it is an execution."

"What was his crime?" Sokka asks, and Chunhua smiles enigmatically.

"High treason," she replies, with the same little smile. Sokka watches carefully, before apparently deciding not to question further - at least not yet. Azula, on the other hand, has nothing _but _questions now. High treason is, technically, what they're all committing simply by being here, although Chunhua won't see it that way. Even so, Zuko had no knowledge of the rebellion until only a week ago, so it's impossible that he had a different spy within their ranks - unless there's another player that she doesn't know about?

Uncle's friends in high places, perhaps?

She's torn. On the one hand, the elimination of this suspicious third party can only aid her - since his presence complicates matters and throws off her otherwise simple plan - but on the other hand, he could be a valuable source of information that she may not have the chance to get elsewhere. Just as she's about to step forward and delay the execution, however, Chunhua steps up and takes the knife from the middle table.

She kneels before the man and tilts his face upward. "Water," she barks, and someone rushes away to get it. To the doomed man, she leans forward and whispers something in his ear before kissing him sweetly on the cheek. The servant returns with water, which she cups in her hands and gives the man to drink, and then stands. "Now, then," she says in a gentle voice, addressing the crowd, "I've brought you here for a reason.

"You all know that I am something of a perfectionist - I do not tolerate failure, be it my own or that of those who answer to me. However, I am not without reason," - here, she smiles warmly - "and I understand that we all make mistakes, and we all stumble from time to time. If one of you makes such a mistake, I implore you to come to me immediately, and we will solve whatever problems arise, _together_. As long as the mistake was honest and you make a sincere effort to reverse the ills done, then I see no reason to punish you. That is," she adds, in a slightly harsher tone, "assuming that you have our best interests at heart.

"If not, well," she indicates to the man, "I will show you what happens to those who deceive me, or seek to destroy what I have worked so hard to build." Her fingers caress the blade of the knife lovingly, until it glows red-hot, and Azula suddenly remembers what _lingchi_ means.

"Deshi," Chunhua says quietly, "what was your crime?" The man works his mouth for a moment, as though trying to speak, but instead spits in Chunhua's face. She blinks, and calmly wipes the spittle from her face. "You lied to me," she tells him, as though nothing happened. "You told me that you were reporting to Lord Ozai, when you were really reporting to the Order. I say this," she adds, turning slightly and bowing to Azula, "for the benefit of our newest guests." Strangely, it's Sokka who seems to understand this - Azula has never heard of this Order and Mai's face is unreadable.

Chunhua nods to the attendants, who step forward and tighten the ropes binding the man, and then tie a livid red gag around his lips. He glares with hatred at Chunhua, who merely smiles in that same false way, and then places the knife flat on Deshi's chest, directly underneath the nipple, and shaves a long, thick strip of flesh down to his hip - but the knife is so hot, and the movement so slow, that the wound is cauterized almost as it's made, leaving little blood. Deshi convulses in pain and screams against the gag. One of the attendants turns away.

"No," Chunhua says, peeling the flesh free and laying it at Deshi's feet. "You need to watch. You need to see the _consequences_ of treason."

The execution lasts for almost an hour, Chunhua peeling away strip after strip of skin and laying each out in front of Deshi in a starburst pattern, although he fades in and out of consciousness throughout. "The point," Chunhua explains, taking a new knife to work at the skin from his side, "is to break apart the pieces of the body so that his spirit may not have peace in the afterlife. Some would wait until after death to dismember the body, but I find that it's much more... prudent," she says delicately, "to do it this way."

Her meaning - so that others will see his suffering and be deterred - hangs unspoken in the air. The carnage is hardly unfamiliar to Azula, but something about this spectacle unsettles her; perhaps, she thinks, it's the smell. The burning-flesh-and-blood smell of an Agni Kai gone horribly wrong, every firebender's worst fear and an entire world's nightmare. Once Chunhua has skinned his abdomen, she moves to his face, and even Azula is unsettled.

"Your eyes," she whispers, so softly that only those closest to him can hear, "I leave. Consider it a mercy for the afterlife."

Each piece of him that she cuts off is laid out in front of him in a cruel mirror of his own face, and horror is expressed in his every shudder. Chunhua, strangely, appears neither to enjoy nor dislike her part in this, her face blank of all emotion, even as her fingers occasionally caress the man lovingly, as though she is his mother or his wife. Somehow, it makes the entire thing more disturbing.

By the time Chunhua is ready to administer the killing blow, Deshi is sobbing and choking into the silken gag and hanging limply from the ropes, although from pain or remorse, it's impossible to tell. She takes the final knife, heats it until it's red, and plunges it, with a startling lack of ceremony, into his heart.

"Now," she says softly, still facing Deshi but speaking to the crowd, "you know what awaits you if you fail me. Ju-Long, destroy the body."

Ju-Long steps forward, uncertainty on his face. "Shouldn't we give him a proper cremation?"

"He's a traitor, Lord Ju-Long," Chunhua replies simply. "He has done nothing to earn it. Dismember the body and throw it in the river. Get that Water Tribe boy to help you if you need it."

Azula and Mai both glance at Sokka, whose face is a mask of indifference. He bows, awkwardly but with some grace (Azula suspects that Mai has taken to teaching him Fire Nation etiquette) and joins Ju-Long in untying the body. "What do we do with the - " he asks, indicating to the starburst of removed skin. Chunhua, cleaning the knives, glances at him.

"Leave them. It will serve as a reminder."

"This isn't something they're likely to forget," Azula comments, hiding her unease behind steady remarks and a calm facade. She used to be so good at this.

"You would be surprised, my lady," Chunhua replies, glancing at Mai, "at the short memory of underlings."

* * *

"I admit," Azula says, watching Sokka as they gather wood, "I'm impressed by how well you took that show this morning."

"I've seen worse," he replies tightly, eyes strangely blank. "And it was the least I could do to make sure he got a good send-off."

"You weren't supposed to bury him, you know," she tells him, but doesn't admonish. Sokka shrugs.

"We just threw him in the river, but where I come from, that's a noble burial." He makes a face and looks around warily before continuing in a lower voice, "I left a little... _message_ with him, you know, just in case they find the body. If they're following the river like we did, they should come across it."

Azula doesn't reply to this; she's uncertain about her place in this plan. She wants - desperately, painfully - to regain her title and her power, but at the same time, she's grown _tired _in a way that runs deeper than physical exhaustion. She's starting to get sick of constantly being on alert, of never trusting anyone, of having no friends, of being loathed by her family. She used to think that if she could just take the throne, then it would all be worth it and she would never want for anything, but since Mai and Ty Lee turned on her, since her father used her and threw her out, since her brother defeated her and locked her up in a mental institution...

It would take an awful lot to make this worth it.

But the thought of giving up after she's worked so hard to get this far makes her stomach turn - worse, the image of sitting by sweetly while Zuko sits on _her _throne and rules _her _country burns her up from within and makes her want to scream. And what is, really, her goal here? To destroy her father, yes, before he has a chance to destroy her, but then what?

Use Father's army against Zuko? Chunhua and Ju-Long would have her do that, but she's wary of Chunhua - even more since this morning - and Ju-Long doesn't have the pull he once had at court. A coup against her brother wouldn't be so difficult for her to arrange, but she's beginning to wonder if that's the best thing for her.

"Tell me about _lingchi_," Sokka says suddenly, fierce and determined. Azula turns to him, a bit startled, and raises an eyebrow.

"Why? You saw it this morning, what is there to tell?"

"What is it?" he asks, strangely agitated. "Where did it come from, what... Why the hot knife?"

Azula taps her chin thoughtfully and leans against a tree, "Well, that isn't standard... _Lingchi_ means _lingering death_, but you might have heard of the death of a thousand cuts?" She glances at him, and he shakes his head. "Anyway, the general idea is to give one cut for each transgression, or each person betrayed, depending on the crime and the person administering punishment. I've never heard of anyone heating the knife like that, though I think..."

"What?" he prompts, leaning forward. She watches him carefully.

"Why are you so interested?"

"Because I like to know about my enemies."

Azula laughs out loud at this. "When did this start? As far as I know, you didn't even try to learn anything about the Fire Nation until you _had_ to."

"And that's a mistake I don't plan to make again," he replies shortly, something dark under his voice, and she stops laughing abruptly.

"All right then," she says, waving a hand carelessly. "I heard a story once..." From her father, but he doesn't need to know that, or the circumstances surrounding it, "that a man whose body is dismembered will never find peace. Chunhua mentioned something about that. The way I heard it," she continues, pushing off the tree and walking around him, "in some circumstances, a curse is laid upon the man, doomed forever to wander the world, tormented by the pain he suffered prior to death. I don't believe it," she adds, shrugging, "but I think our _esteemed_ leader does."

"That seems a bit overkill..."

She shrugs, "I guess it is. I haven't heard of _lingchi _being performed in centuries. The only way I know about it at all is from history classes. It's one of those outdated concepts, like lead makeup and, oh, I don't know, footbinding or something similar."

"Footbinding?"

"Don't ask," she replies coolly. "I didn't pay _that _close attention in class."

Sokka rolls his eyes and motions for her to actually help him gather wood, but she ignores him. He growls, but doesn't comment. "So, what was inscribed on that knife?"

Azula shakes her head, "I don't know. I couldn't get close enough to see. Probably the curse I was talking about. Why?" she asks, teasingly. "Hoping to get the Avatar to remove the curse from Deshi's spirit?"

She realizes her mistake a half-step too late - she remembers the man's name. It's something her father taught her long ago, to never, _ever_ learn the name of men you kill because learning their names is the first step to empathizing with them. Sokka, it seems, has also heard this lesson, and also catches her slip-up, raising an eyebrow at her.

"So, you remember his name? Interesting..."

"It's not interesting," she says coldly, waving him off, "I just notice things like that."

He peers at her. "What's the little Earthbender's name? The one who travels with us?"

Azula blinks, mouth open, and for a moment comes up completely blank, before landing on something, "Bei Fong. She's the little Bei Fong girl."

"Yeah, and?"

"And what?"

"Her first name, Azula," he replies pointedly, in the tone of one who knows he's won. She shrugs angrily.

"It doesn't matter to me. I learned a long time ago that knowing the names of your enemies is a mistake."

"So... Deshi?"

"Not an enemy," she counters sharply, "an ally."

"To us," Sokka replies, crossing his arms, "but to you?"

"For now, he is - was - my ally, just like you are my ally - _for now_," she answers, wondering vaguely just who she's trying to convince.

"So you never learned my name until we became allies?"

"Not until the nurses told me that some idiot named Sokka was visiting," she lies sharply, "no. It was terribly confusing at first, although I did recognize you, if it makes you feel better."

"Not really," he replies flatly, and picks up his half of the gathered wood. "Let's get these back to the camp."


	16. when you've gone through hell

**opheliac**  
(xvi-when you've gone through hell)

Azula is beginning to get agitated.

"There has to be some reason we're here," she says sharply, nudging a tile across the board. Mai, utterly disinterested in _pai sho_ but knowing more about how to play than Sokka, rolls her eyes.

"Information, I thought," she replies in a low whisper. Azula glares at her. It's clear that Mai is just moving tiles at random, which is irritating beyond belief. She would rather be playing against Sokka, who might _try _to beat her, or at least make a more convincing show of it. Besides, he's more fun to goad and more engaging to talk to, and she hates the fact that she would rather have a discussion with the Water Tribe warrior than one of her oldest - supposedly - friends.

"No, Mai, I thought we were here to enjoy the verdant beauty of the jungle," she hisses angrily. "I meant, there must be some reason that Chunhua is stationed here. If I know Father - and I _do_ - he's got something more up his sleeve than just rushing the capital with a rag-tag army."

"Didn't the Avatar try that once?"

"And it worked _so well _then, didn't it?"

Mai sighs. "Maybe there's some kind of poison they're working on to slip Zuko," she offers half-heartedly. Azula closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, attempting to calm herself and not shove the entire _pai sho _board down Mai's throat. She had never realized just how much she relied on Ty Lee to keep Mai interested.

"Why go through the trouble for that? No, they're plotting something."

Just then, Sokka shuffles through the door, arms full of cloth, a sour look on his face. "Just in case you were wondering," he says flatly, "it's a bad idea to tell anyone that you can sew."

"You can sew?" Mai asks, amusement in her voice. Sokka sneers at her.

"My sister made me learn. And apparently, everyone's clothes are torn up and need mending."

"Make Mai do it," Azula says coolly, and earns a glare. She cocks an eyebrow. "She'll enjoy that more than playing a game with me, and she's _so _good at it. Come," she barks to Sokka, and motions for him to take Mai's seat.

"You sew, Mai?"

"_No._"

"She's lying," Azula says, smirking, "her stitches are divine." When Mai turns her vilest, coldest glare on Azula for this, she simply shrugs. "Maybe if you'd actually participated in the game and the conversation I was trying to have with you, I wouldn't have a problem letting Sokka do all the work. But since you're clearly bored out of your mind, I'll be merciful and let you leave the game and do something _else._"

Mai stands up with as much dignity as she can muster and walks over to Sokka, snatching the clothes and sewing kit from him and depositing them on the ground, a sour look on her face the whole time. Sokka stares at her for a moment as though she's going to whirl around and fill him with knives, but when she simply picks up a pair of pants and begins to sew, he joins Azula at the table.

"Now," she starts, with a bright smile, "would you like to finish Mai's game, or do you want to start over?"

"I don't really know how to play _pai sho_ that well..." he replies uncertainly.

"That's all right," she says, waving a hand, "it's just a cover, really. I'm trying to work out Chunhua's reasoning for being stationed here."

"Oh," he mutters, and then shifts a tile randomly. "I was wondering the same thing. Maybe they're trying to spread out their forces, make it seem like there aren't as many?"

"I thought about that," she muses, jumping one of his tiles. The move isn't really allowed, but then, he doesn't know that and she doesn't care. "But why? That's terrible for morale."

"They know they've been infiltrated by the Order," he replies, shrugging. "It could be a ploy."

"Speaking of..." Azula says, eyes narrowing, "What is the Order?"

He looks away uncertainly, as though he knows something but doesn't want to tell. "I... Well..."

"Spit it out."

He takes a deep breath and looks straight into her eyes defiantly, taking her off-guard, "I don't know if I should tell you. You'll use it against us later."

"I'll find out anyway," she warns, and he shrugs.

"It's a secret, and you're the exact kind of person who doesn't need to know."

She snickers at this. "Oh, don't kid yourself," she laughs. "It's not like it's that difficult to figure out. Let me guess," she says, steepling her fingers and leaning on the table, doing to him the same thing he did to her, staring directly into his eyes, "it's an order of the elemental and philosophical masters. I would venture to guess that my uncle is a member somehow, and knowing him, it has to do with keeping peace and balance between our world and the spirit world. I would suppose that it stretches across borders and features many of the world leaders, or at least their advisers. They planted that man here to do the same thing we're doing, and if I had to guess, I would say that they had a hand in re-taking Ba Sing Se, at the very least. Am I close?"

It's a rhetorical question - the look of surprise on his face tells her everything.

"My only question," she continues, "is where _you _got involved."

"My swordmaster," he replies tightly, relenting. Azula nods slowly.

"The only swordmaster who would be of high enough standing to be involved in that kind of order would be Piandao," she muses, and his shoulders slump. She smirks. "Don't look so down. It's quite impressive, actually, that you trained under such an esteemed master," she tells him, in a falsely comforting voice. He rolls his eyes and shoves a tile across the board moodily. "Anyway, back to our conversation. Why is Chunhua _here?_"

"To screw with your head," he grumbles, and she sighs.

"Don't make me send you off to help Mai."

Behind them, Mai snorts, but doesn't comment.

Sokka takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Okay. There has to be something of value here. Do we have a recent map of the Fire Nation? Maybe it's a good strategic position."

"I doubt that," Azula mutters, looking around for a map anyway. "But it might help to pinpoint where we are anyway." She freezes when her eyes land on Mai - she's stopped sewing and is holding a small strip of beige cloth, staring at it blankly, face paler than usual. "What is that?"

Mai jumps and turns, folding the cloth into her sleeve. "Nothing. Someone left a note in his pocket."

"What kind of note?"

"A love letter," she replies, but it's a lie. Azula considers, for a moment, forcing Mai to give up the note, but the time isn't right. Mai is nigh-unbeatable unless caught off-guard, and she wouldn't put it past the other girl to destroy the letter if it's important enough. However, she will no doubt want to talk to Sokka about it, because Sokka is designated with the task of contacting Zuko, so she won't destroy it until she has a chance to share the information with him. All Azula has to do is stick with Sokka until he goes to sleep, and then sneak into Mai's room and find it.

For now, she pretends to be satisfied with this answer, and returns to the game.

Sokka is watching Mai with an odd look on his face, no doubt thinking the same thing about the information on it. Azula snaps her fingers, and he turns back to her. "What were we saying?"

"We need to know where we are," she says sharply.

"Right, so we'll need a map," he replies, like it's final, and begins to stand. Azula reaches over and grabs his arm, forcing him back into his seat.

"We haven't finished this discussion." The shadow of a curseword passes over Sokka's face - he's figured out her plan - but he sits anyway. "Assuming that there is no strategic importance of this position, why else might Chunhua have chosen this place?"

"Close to the river," he offers, agitated. "Good for shipping reasons."

She shoots him a look. "That's not much of a reason, especially considering how indefensible it is. There aren't any ships here, anyway, so how would they pass supplies downriver?"

"Maybe the supplies aren't going," Mai offers from her perch on the little stool behind them. "Maybe they're coming from further upriver."

Azula pauses at this, considering. "What's further upriver, though? The mountains are just jungle up until the treeline, and then they're uninhabitable rock."

"Which is a good place to hide," Sokka muses, "but it's bad for long-term survival..."

She shakes her head, "But it's not a good place to hide. Bare rock is excellent for an earthbender, and he knows that you have one on your team, not to mention the Avatar."

"She's right," Mai says, crossing her arms. "If he's hiding, it'll be in the jungle. The Avatar won't be able to firebend much because of the fire hazard, and earthbending is difficult on the loose soil. Waterbending would be easier, though..."

"And airbending?" Sokka asks, and then answers his own question, "Wait, it probably wouldn't be that easy because of all the humidity. The air is heavier, so it would make it harder for him, and Ozai knows that airbending is what Aang uses most often."

Azula nods. "But none of that answers why _Chunhua_ is here. If it were me, I would place the largest camp somewhere far removed from Father, to draw my enemies away from him."

"Maybe that's our problem," Sokka says, as though suddenly realizing something. Mai and Azula both turn to him. "We're thinking about this as if Chunhua is Azula. What if she doesn't think like you do? What if she's here because Ozai is, and she wants to be closer to him, for... whatever reason?"

"What reason would she have for staying close to Ozai, though?" Mai asks.

"Could she be afraid of attack?" Azula offers. "She did have to execute Desh - that man," she catches herself, "so maybe she's worried that her enemies are closing in?"

"Maybe it's simpler than that," Sokka mutters, disgust on his face. "Maybe she's got a _thing _for him?"

No, she thinks, that's not it, because Chunhua is on _Azula's_ side, and wants Ozai out of the way so Azula can take the throne. But telling Sokka that would mean admitting that she is working with their enemy against them, and it's imperative that they don't find out that bit of information. "Horrid as that thought is," she replies, pulling a face, "it would make sense."

"Hmm," Mai says, watching Azula carefully. "I doubt that. Chunhua isn't the sort of woman to risk that much over love."

"Neither are you," Azula counters impassively, and Mai gives her a cold look.

"I _don't _think that's it," Mai replies tightly. "I think it's as simple as this being a good place to hide. No one is going to comb the jungles entirely, and the canopy makes the camp invisible from air, while the understory makes it invisible from the ground. Perfect for when one of your enemies can fly and another can feel anything touching the ground."

"I suppose," she says slowly, and nudges the White Lotus tile into position.

* * *

Late that night, she slips into Mai's room, hunting for the clothes she was wearing during the day. Because of Mai's outfits - and her distrust of Azula - the note could be literally anywhere, but she starts with the sleeves anyway, figuring that it's best to go ahead and get them out of the way. As expected, she finds nothing.

She works her way through every piece of clothing that Mai could have conceivably hid the note in, still finding nothing, and then works her way through all of the holsters she can find, reasoning that it's entirely possible for Mai to have slipped it into one of her wrist guards.

Figures, she thinks, glancing at Mai's sleeping form. She's no doubt hidden it either on her person or in the room. Unwilling to wake Mai up unless she absolutely must, she rifles through everything in the room - her bag, the small end table (making sure to check if any of the bottoms of the drawers lift out, but they don't), underneath the little cot, and finally the roof of the little hut because it's possible that she tacked it up there with the assumption that Azula wouldn't look.

Nothing.

Which means that it's on the bed, or on Mai herself, or she's already destroyed it. It's unlikely that she's destroyed it without sending the information along to Zuko - unless it really is just a love letter, in which case, Azula will feel remarkably dumb - and it's more likely to be in the bed than on Mai, considering that the heat and humidity of the jungle makes it unbearable to wear more than the absolute minimum to sleep in. So she creeps over to the bed and examines the pillow.

It would be the ideal place to hide a nondescript strip of cloth, and it's frustratingly difficult to get under. She debates simply waking Mai up and threatening her into handing it over, but if the Boiling Rock incident has taught her anything, it's to never underestimate Mai. She manages to raise the edge of the pillow up just the slightest fraction, paying careful attention to make sure that she doesn't wake Mai, and - there!

Between Mai's hand and the pillow, is the little strip of cloth that's caused all of this.

It had better be filled with damn good information.

Azula holds the pillow up with one hand and, with the other, slips one of Mai's stilettos out of its holster, slipping the sharp end between the note and the pillow, then shifting it down to pierce the cloth. Luckily, it's low-quality and Mai keeps her knives sharp, so it works, and she gently slides it out from under Mai, who shifts a bit but - surprisingly - doesn't wake. It seems that the early mornings and late nights have taken their toll.

She glances at the note to make sure that there is actually writing on it and that she hasn't been fooled, before slipping the stiletto back into its place and sneaking right back out of the room, leaving it exactly as she found it.

Safely back in her own hut, she lights a candle and reads it, eyes widening in both horror and - hope? It was written by Deshi, the executed man, apparently left in his cast-off clothes, that he never had the chance to send.

_Xiong,_ it reads, _I believe I've been found. Do not come. Lay low where you are._

Xiong... _Ursa._

Azula very suddenly cannot breathe._  
_


	17. and i say i can't stay

**opheliac**  
(xvii-and i say i can't stay)

Mai is waiting for her when she leaves her room, even though the sun hasn't even risen yet. As always, her face is unreadable, but the fact that her hair is loose and she's wearing only underclothing - and doesn't appear to have any weapons - says that she's incensed. They stand still for a long moment, glaring at each other, until finally Azula relents, turning sharply and walking back into her room, and Mai follows.

"So," she says, voice barely above a whisper. "You broke into my room and stole the note."

"You lied to me," she replies airily, rolling her eyes. "You should have expected it."

"I did," Mai counters tersely, and then falls silent. Tension mounts between them, and Azula wants to scream. This new development has thrown her completely off, and she can feel her blood pressure rising, the dark gaping hole that she fell in two and a half months ago opening back up for her - and she's desperate to stave it off. Mai, however, is not helping to keep her sane, even though it's really to everyone's best interest that Azula not lose control like she did then. They spend a horrible few minutes just staring at the space between them, nothing being said, and then Sokka bursts through the door.

"Mai, you tried to - what happened?" he demands, alarmed, looking between the two girls.

"Mai lied to me," Azula replies, at the same time that Mai says, "Azula stole the note I found."

"What was on the note?" he asks firmly, coming to stand between them. Azula thrusts it into his hands, and he reads over it, confused. "What's so special about - "

"_Xiong_ means _bear_ in the old language," Mai replies sharply, and Sokka blinks.

"So?"

"Ursa," Azula tells him shortly. "My mother," she adds. Comprehension dawns on his face.

"_Oh_... Well," he says, trying to control the disaster that he can clearly see looming. "This is a good thing. It means she's alive, and in contact with the Order."

"And coming here," Azula whispers. Something that might be rage, or possibly shame, swirls in her mind. The fact that she will see her mother again, even though she's been poring over it for the past hour, is still fresh in her mind, and she still hasn't been able to fully accept it. What will she say? What will she think? Azula doesn't even know if she wants to face her mother again - no, that's not true, she does know, and she knows that she absolutely does _not_ want to - and she's quite sure that her mother doesn't want to see her either. After all, she left without saying goodbye.

_Not to Zuko_, she thinks suddenly, _she said goodbye to Zuko._

It was just Azula that Ursa couldn't stand to see.

Sokka watches her carefully for a moment, and then looks at Mai. "All right. We can - I'll get a message to Zuko. He might... He may already know, because Iroh is in the Order, and maybe we can meet up with her before..." He blanches at the twitch in Azula's face, realizing that this was possibly the worst thing he could have said, and then hastily rushes forward. "Or not. We could not. That's fine too. We just have to - we've got to do our job here. Azula," he says sharply, trying to bring her back to land, "listen to me. We have a job to do _here_, remember?"

But Azula isn't _here_ anymore. She's back in the palace, eight years old, listening at the door to her mother telling Zuko goodbye, telling him how much she loves him, and then bolting back to her room and pretending to be asleep, waiting for Mother to come and say the same thing to her. But Mother never comes. She says goodbye to Zuko and then leaves, as though she doesn't have a daughter.

_No, Azula, I love you._

Mother was always afraid of her, always trying to make her be more like _Zuko_, always trying to make her _feel_ and then turning around and _leaving _without ever - without even - Mother always wanted Azula to _care_ but then Mother didn't care about Azula. The old rejection still burns, even though she's spent the past six years crushing it under ambition and pride and perfection.

Father, at least, cared. For a while. But then he threw her away, too.

"_Azula,_" Sokka insists, grabbing her by the shoulders. She jolts, and then her vision clears, and she's still standing, rock-still, in the little hut in the rainforest, hands clenched so tight that blood is leaking from her palms. Her only refuge is anger.

"Get your hands off me," she snaps, jerking away. Sokka recoils, as though he had almost forgotten that Azula is - and always has been - dangerous.

(She isn't sure if she wants to be dangerous anymore.)

"We have a job to do," he says softly, "and I need to know that you can still do it."

"Of _course_ I can do it, you idiot," she spits. "Who the hell do you think I am? _You?_ I _don't _fail." He flinches at her insult, but doesn't get angry like she had hoped. She wants to hurt, and to fight, and to scream, and to rage, and to make someone else _understand_, and to be hated, and to be hurt. It would make this all easier if they would just loathe her like they did, instead of sit there and try - and try to _save _her like they're doing now. Don't they know she can't be saved?

"Anyone would be nervous," Sokka says, in an admirable attempt at calmness. "You haven't seen her in, what, five years?"

_Six_, she thinks, but doesn't correct him because she doesn't want him to know. "What do I care?" she replies savagely. "It's not like _she_ ever did."

And then understanding blooms on Sokka's face, and Azula is both relieved and infuriated. "That's what this is about," he whispers, and then looks to Mai. "I didn't... That's why you tried to hide it from her."

Mai looks away. "I knew she'd do this," she answers quietly. "She's always been this way about her mother."

"I'm _right here!_" Azula shrieks, and they all jump. Sokka makes a hasty _shush_ing motion with his hands, desperate to keep this just between them, for all of their sakes. "Don't act like you know _anything _about me," she hisses, lunging at Mai, all those months of simmering anger left over from the betrayal boiling to the surface, but Sokka grabs her around the waist and throws her onto the bed, knocking her head against the hard tree-trunk that makes up the back wall of the hut. She bolts back up with a snarl, eyes flaming, and slaps him hard, straight across the cheek, leaving a bloody streak from her palm, and then stands still for a moment, chest heaving. His jaw clenches like he'd really love nothing more than to hit her, but he takes a deep breath instead and looks at her.

"Feel better now?" he asks coldly.

"_No_," she answers bluntly.

"You have to calm down," Mai says. "If Praveena or Chunhua see you like this..." Everything will be over. Mai has a point - not that Azula didn't know it already, but it's a point nonetheless - and she closes her eyes, draws in a deep breath, trying to regain control of herself. It might help if she'd slept, but then, maybe not. Her dreams have never been especially calming.

Control. It used to be her main talent, her best weapon - Azula was always in control of the situation, no matter what situation that was. Now, she must re-learn it, or risk more than everything; not just her dreams and her future and her life, but the lives of everyone around her. She doesn't care much for Mai at the moment, but Sokka at least has proven himself a useful and friendly ally, so she would feel a little bad if her lack of control got him killed.

A little.

Still, she's drowning in her memories, in the sound of her mother's voice, in the recollection of laying in bed, covers drawn up to her chin, waiting for Mother to come and say goodbye. She remembers everything about that moment so clearly, the second when she realized that no one was coming - the feeling of sweat on her hands, the soft glow of candlelight from under the door, the all-encompassing silence everywhere around her. All the nasty details that she's tried so desperately to forget, to put away and never dredge up again, all unburied at a single word on a stupid note left in a dead man's pocket.

"Azula," Sokka says firmly, and she opens her eyes. There is no clarity, no sense of standing on firm ground, no calm.

But if Azula is good at anything, it's lying. "I'm fine," she replies evenly. "Now, let's get to work."

* * *

Three hours later, she still hasn't slept, and Sokka has taken to watching her like a hawk. It's clear he thinks that she's going mad again - and maybe she is - and he wants to make sure that he'll be there to control the damage if and when she does. She suspects that Mai put him up to it, and she wouldn't be surprised if Mai is also watching her carefully. In fact, she would be disappointed in the girl if she wasn't; after all, Azula taught her much of what she knows.

Praveena glides up to her when she and Sokka reach the ground floor, where the campfire (and thus breakfast) is. "Hello, Princess," she says with a smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"Of course," she replies stiffly, dismayed. The way Praveena is smiling makes her think that she was eavesdropping on the conversation this morning, and if Praveena knows that Ursa was Deshi's contact, or that she's coming here... "Why?"

She can feel Sokka tensing beside her; he's certainly thinking the same thing. The woman's smile widens.

"I heard shouting very early this morning, from your room." She glances sideways at Sokka. "I trust that everything is well?"

A series of cursewords pass through Azula's mind. Now she has a choice: act as if the conversation was of no importance, or attack, and risk accidentally giving away too much information. It all depends on how much Praveena heard, which she has no way of finding out without rousing suspicion. And worse, she's still too scattered to make a reliable decision. Luckily, Sokka steps in.

"Yeah, it's all... good," he says, a bit awkwardly, and she almost screams, but then - "We had something of a, um," he coughs and lowers his voice, "lover's quarrel."

Praveena's eyes light up. "Oh, really?" she replies, laughing. "In the Princess's room?"

Now his shiftiness and discomfort play into the act. Azula almost bursts out laughing; she knew the boy was good for something. "Well, yeah, you see..." He chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Could you, um, not tell Mai?"

She crosses her arms, "I do not know," she drawls, leaning forward, smiling roguishly, "why should I not?"

"Praveena," Azula says sharply. "You're not trying to _steal _him, are you?" She slips a hand around his waist, and when he flinches, she digs her nails into his hip. Praveena relaxes, smiling, but something glints in her eyes that worries Azula anyway.

"I suppose not," she replies with a sigh, unsheathing a knife and beginning to polish it. "Although it was worth a try. Breakfast?"

"Sure!" Sokka cries, relieved, and takes the plate of what appears to be eggs and a kind of dark sausage. He stares at it for a moment as though wondering what exactly he's about to eat, and then, shrugging, digs in. Azula rolls her eyes and waves off Praveena's offering to her.

As they sit in relative silence, Azula finds herself watching the flame. It's nearly dead now, little more than embers with the occasional burst of orange or yellow from within the coals. The imagery isn't lost on her - lately, she's been much like the dying campfire: smoldering under the surface, sometimes lashing out with a tongue of flame, but still little more than coal, dead fire. She sneers. Now she's starting to sound like Mai, all dark poetry and dramatic expressions of misery.

Angrily, she shoots a small fireball into the embers, sending up swirling sparks and smoke. Sokka pauses, looks from her to the fire and back, and then stands up purposefully and walks away. Praveena watches him go, and then smirks.

"You know," she whispers, looking at the already-cooked meat, "I sometimes like to hunt."

"Do you?" Azula replies boredly, glaring at the fire as though her anger will give it more fuel.

"Yes," Praveena says in that same conspiratorial tone, "I do. You learn many things while hunting, but you understand that, do you not?"

"Of course," she responds, hoping that she's reading Praveena wrong and yet knowing that she isn't.

The other woman smiles sharply. "One of those lessons is how to _listen_, yes?" Praveena languidly plays with her knife. "And arguments in the dead of night, well... they are not so difficult to hear."

"I get it. What is it you want?" Azula snaps, cutting off Praveena's inevitable monologuing. She's in no mood to listen to a madwoman talk; her own mind is doing enough of that already.

"Power," she answers calmly. "When you take the throne."

"You want a position of nobility?" she asks, raising an eyebrow, but Praveena's smile widens.

"No, Princess. I want power over _people_," she says in a dark voice. Azula recalls the komodo-rhino, the fury when Mai killed it, the bloodlust in Praveena's eyes.

"You want to be an interrogator? I can do that," she replies. She has no plans to keep this promise, mostly because she has no plans of allowing Praveena to survive this, but if it keeps the secret from Chunhua, it's good enough for now.

"The _head_ of the police," Praveena amends. "I want to answer to _no one_ - save you, of course." Azula nods absently and Praveena smiles. "So we are decided, then," she whispers. "I keep your secret about Lady Ursa, and you give me a high-ranking position in the capital when you take the throne." Azula looks at her - she can't know everything that was said this morning, or she wouldn't be bargaining. She tries to think of when Praveena might have started listening, but can't remember everything that was said, much to her frustration. All she remembers is anger and pain - both physical and mental - and _no Azula I love you _and _that's what this is all about_ and - she can't recall the details of the conversation, of what she said or implied, of what Praveena might know.

She wants to believe that she's never hated herself as much as she does now, but knows for a fact that she has.

"Naturally," Azula says tightly, and then Sokka returns, arms full of wood for the fire. She's surprised by his thoughtfulness, or at least fear of her. "Thank you, Koda," she tells him, trying to steady herself by locking on to him, convincing herself that he did this because he _cares_, because he wants to make her happy or at least make her calm. It's a bad idea, feeding her desperate need for for love by lying to herself, but she has no other choice. Even if Sokka only cares because he's terrified of being executed like Deshi was, it still means that he cares, and it's still better than anything else she has.

He gives her a strange look at her tone, and then picks up his plate again, now suspicious. "You're welcome, Princess," he replies slowly, as though waiting for her to rip his throat out.

She almost smiles.

* * *

A/N: I had some trouble with the hut scene: I don't want it to be too over-the-top, but at the same time, I want it to be clear (not just to the readers, but to Mai and Sokka as well) that Azula is _not_ taking her mother's imminent arrival well. I tried to base it somewhat off the scene in the finale, except with people there watching her break down - people she _can't_ dismiss. Her mental state is still pretty fragile, and I kind of imagine it through the earlier parts of this story as being like a thin layer of spackle covering a hole in the wall: on the surface, it looks complete, and will even hold up to a light touch, but if you hit it with any kind of force, it'll break. I hope that comes across here.


	18. you know how hard it can be

**opheliac**  
(xviii-you know how hard it can be)

Around midday, another new recruit finds his way into the hideout, neither by accident or choice: his father is an admiral and too visible (and, Azula suspects, with too much to lose) to vocally support them, but the admiral's son has documents ostensibly stolen from his father's desk that could prove useful to Ozai's cause. It's a cruel, but smart, game. If Ozai retakes the throne, the admiral will be able to safely claim that he was allied with Ozai the entire time, with his son's antics to prove it; however, if Ozai's coup fails, he'll also be able to pretend that he had no knowledge of his son's treason.

As much as she appreciates the man's tactic, his cruelty turns her stomach in a way that it shouldn't.

It's Mai who tells her the delicious part, though not out of any desire to entertain or please her: their newest recruit just-so-happens to be a young man they met once on Ember Island. Mai tells her in an effort to convince her to stay out of it, but Azula's curious and bitter and more than a little scattered, so she goes to find him.

Chunhua is sitting calmly at her little desk when Azula enters the hut (without knocking or preamble), and Chan is tied to a chair opposite the desk, flanked by Praveena and Ju-Long, both of whom glance at her, eyebrows raised, but say nothing.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Chunhua asks coolly, never taking her eyes off Chan. Azula shrugs and leans against the wall of the hut.

"I was curious about the new recruit," she replies, and is slightly gratified to see him jump in his chair at her voice. "Thought I might drop in and see what there was to see."

"Curious," Chunhua repeats, and something flickers in her face, but she hides her displeasure well. Chunhua is brave, and proud, but even she won't dare tell the princess _no_ - especially not when she needs Azula's support so desperately. "As you wish, then, my lady. We were just discussing the documents that this young man has brought to us, and whether or not they are false. In fact," she adds, as though just thinking about it, "you may be able to discern the difference."

Not likely, Azula thinks, since she never cared for paperwork except when she had to, but it's a chance to see what information Chan managed to scrounge up and offer them, so she saunters over to the desk as carelessly as she can manage, and takes the scrolls from Chunhua, an eye on Chan the whole time. He's pale and thinner than the last time she saw him, and she would be lying if she said it didn't cheer her up some to see him so clearly terrified and out of his depth.

The first scroll is filled with detailed descriptions of the Fire Navy - most of which Ju-Long could have told them from memory - but it also has, more usefully, the positions of all of the vessels. Still, unless her father is planning to take a swim en route to the Capital (unlikely), they have little use for such information. The second scroll is a map of major trade routes to and from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes, but they're only good in the interest of setting up a blockade, which Chunhua doesn't have the resources to do. The third lists all of the high ranking naval officers and some information about them, such as where they live and which ships they captain or work for - better than the other two, but still nothing that Ju-Long couldn't have told them.

It's the fourth scroll that gives her pause.

In it is a list, kept in meticulous detail, of all of the policies that governed the Navy under Ozai, and, in another column, the policies of Zuko. In bold are changes made that have reduced the Navy's influence, shrunken their territory, and cut their resources. A scroll like that, passed around the enlisted men, could be _very_ convincing.

She hands this one to Chunhua. "The first three are useless. This is the only one that will do you any good, but most of Father's policies listed there are fake. Not that anyone reading it would care," she adds flippantly. She isn't quite lying - the policies themselves are solid, but they were hardly instilled by her father. Most of them dated back to Sozin's initial expansion and had long been defunct, but the changes will inspire anger, and that's all that Chunhua needs.

"They aren't fake!" Chan shouts desperately, and everyone in the room turns to him. He has the decency to look sheepish, but his fear still bleeds from every pore. Such a _coward._ How could she ever have thought _he_ was in any way attractive?

"And you know this because?" she asks lightly, putting on her best "polite" face.

"They came straight from my father!" he cries, and then catches himself. "Well," he lies awkwardly, "his desk, anyway. I took them."

Even Praveena isn't fooled, but they play along for now. "And your father is an expert on Ozai's Naval policy?" Chunhua asks, making it sound like a genuine question rather than the mockery it is.

"I..." Chan starts, and then winces. "He's an admiral," he says, like it's an answer. Chunhua smiles.

"Of course. Praveena," she says, eyes still locked on Chan's, "will you escort our newest recruit to his temporary lodgings?"

"Temp - " Chan begins to shout, but Chunhua stops him with a hand.

"Your father is an admiral, Chan. We'll need you to be in the Capital, where you can pass us along any information you can... _take_ from him."

"Right," Chan breathes, grinning like an idiot. "Right, I'll get you whatever information you need, Lady Chunhua."

Behind him, Praveena rolls her eyes and unties him, before jerking him out of the chair unceremoniously. "Come," she says, voice dripping with disdain, "we have an empty room or two."

Azula leaves with them before Chunhua can call her back to discuss strategy - she has no insight or information that Ju-Long doesn't, or, at least, none that she's willing to share with Chunhua. In truth, information on the Fire Navy is neither new nor important; from their position in the jungle, what they need is information on how to infiltrate the Volcano to reach the Caldera, and bypass the defenses. Azula knows the secret passages that wind through the Volcano, which paths will reach dead ends, which will reach the magma chamber, and which will reach the Palace - but she has no intention of telling Chunhua.

Besides, her father already knows that, and if he hasn't shared it with them, he probably has a good reason. And _that_, more than anything else, is what Chunhua should _really_ be asking Azula about, but she doesn't know enough to realize half of what it means.

Azula, though, is starting to see - Father is playing Chunhua, using her to rally his supporters, and he'll use her as a distraction and a shield while he goes in through the back way to take the Palace for himself. He would do it alone if he could bend, but she suspects that he's already planning to use her as his weapon to cut through the defenses - and then what? He can't be stupid enough to think he can control her on the throne. Perhaps he plans to stab her in the back once she's broken into the Palace for him?

She wouldn't put it past him, and the realization stings more than she likes.

At least, she thinks, she has an ace up her sleeve in Zuko. It leaves a bad taste in her mouth, to rely on her brother, but she has little choice. She can be Father's pawn or Zuko's secret weapon, and if she must be someone's tool, she would rather do so on her own terms.

"Why didn't you tell me you were the princess?" Chan asks accusingly as they near the hut he'll be sleeping in tonight. Praveena glances at her sideways and snickers, but she ignores her, more interested in the homicidal glare Mai is sending her from the next tree over.

"Your father's an admiral and you couldn't recognize your own princess?" Azula replies, smirking at Mai and crossing her arms. "You deserved it, if for nothing more than your crippling ignorance."

"I - " Chan starts, but - of all people - Sokka bursts through the branches awkwardly (having apparently decided that the route actually built for him would take too long) and lands, stumbling, on the planks in front of the hut.

"Can we help you?" Praveena asks, a laugh in her voice, but Sokka doesn't crack a smile or a joke.

"Yeah, Mai wanted to talk to Az- Princess Azula," he says sharply, watching her like a hawk. What, she wonders, is he afraid of?

"Oh?" Azula replies, irrational anger mixed with a strange sort of _hope _lashing through her at his worried look - what, does he think she can't take care of herself? Does he think she'll go mad and burn the forest down if he takes his eyes off of her for three seconds? Or, she thinks suddenly, and stomach clenches shut, does he actually have news that will affect her - does Mai actually know something about - no, no, _no_, it's far too soon, Mai can't have any information about Mother (_Ursa_, she tells herself, _don't think of her as Mother_) that Azula doesn't already know. It's not _possible_, it's not _reasonable_, and it's certainly not _fair_, for her to have to deal with two specters from her past in the same hour, even if one is far less monstrous than the other.

"Yeah," he says bluntly, pulling her back to the present. "In private. Or at least sort-of private. Not around this hogmonkey," he finally admits, gesturing to Chan, who turns red and looks as though he'd like little more than to throttle Sokka.

Praveena, however, snorts and kicks Chan into the hut with a single sharp movement that looks strikingly similar to part of a firebending kata, and then leans against the wall of the hut, arms crossed languidly. "I will keep watch over the, as you call him, _hogmonkey_, make sure that he does not eavesdrop on any private conversations," she says, smiling benevolently. It's almost pleasing, really, how kind Praveena is being to her, now that she thinks they have a _deal_.

Sokka gestures to the branches, and a part of Azula wants to lunge through them, desperate to know what it is that Mai might have for her - but she doesn't want to seem _eager_, especially if it turns out that Mai was only lying to get her away from Chan. So, with forced patience, she takes the long way around, dragging Sokka with her, and by the time she reaches Mai, she feels like she's about to come out of her skin.

"So, what is _so_ important - " she starts, but Mai cuts her off by pulling her into her hut and holding out a letter.

"You should be aware, at least," Mai says. "I found this stuck to this tree," she explains, gesturing the to the hollowed-out section of the trunk that makes up her hut, "with an arrow made out of ice."

The message is short, curt, and written in Zuko's hand: _S or M; midnight; seventy east, twenty north._

"Idiot," Azula snaps quietly. "We can't just sneak off and meet up with them."

"No one said anything about _us_," Sokka says, taking the note. "See? _S or M._ You stay."

She turns her most vicious glare onto him. "So you can plot how you're going to stab me in the back?" she replies, and Sokka opens his mouth to contradict her, but she ignores him and continues. "_No_. This is _my_ operation. I will go. If you want to tag along then be my guest, but you _won't_ stop me."

Cold, bitter realization washes over her as she speaks, and she storms from the hut to hide the shaking in her hands. Of course Zuko would try this - in fact, she thinks, he's probably had this plotted from the _start!_ He _and_ Sokka, they've probably been planning something. Probably, she thinks savagely, they've planned for Sokka to get into her good graces (_just like he's been doing_) and then get her to _actually_ side with them, openly and vocally, ruining any chance she might have to gain support _against_ Zuko or _with_ Father, to keep her sedate and happy, thinking that this stupid Water Tribe _heathen_ cares about her - maybe even _likes_ her.

He has that Kyoshi Warrior, remember? And someone like him would never _genuinely_ give a damn about a _monster_. That's just not his _style_, is it?

The worst part is, though, that it was working - the worst part is, Zuko knows her weakness.

The worst part is, for a moment there, she might have actually believed him.

* * *

A/N: I am _so sorry_ for the delay. I got caught up in other things and I was having trouble with this chapter, so I figured I would take a bit of a break and then get back to it. I didn't expect to take such a long break, though! One thing about this chapter that I want to clarify, though: the discrepancy in Azula's narration regarding Ozai is intentional.


	19. to keep believing in me

**opheliac**  
(ixx-to keep believing in me)

Azula _likes_ anger - it helps her clear her head and shuts up her thoughts, gives her enough time to _act_ rather than just _think_ all the time, and even if those actions are dangerous and stupid and half-formed, she accepts them as the price she must pay for clarity.

Still, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows that this is not one of her best ideas.

Night in the jungle is oppressively claustrophobic and _breeds_ paranoia with every crunch of a leaf or call of an insect. There's no breeze tonight, just stifling humidity sitting on her shoulders like a huge, heavy blanket, holding her down and crushing her under its weight. The air stinks of dirt and rot and _life_, but all out-of-sight, lingering somewhere beyond the tiny sphere of light from the fire in her palm. Sokka stays close, but seems to be going out of his way to avoid touching her, even accidentally.

(The fire burns a little brighter with her simmering fury; if he notices, he doesn't ask.)

She doesn't know what she's going to do when she gets to Zuko's camp. Will Mother - _Ursa_ - be there? Surely she must. Azula can't imagine the woman getting involved with this nonsense and _not_ scrambling to see her precious Zuko.

What, then, will she do when she sees - _her?_

The safest option is to ignore her, but she's not entirely certain that she even _can_ - if Ursa was working to oppose the insurgency before Father's escape, then she'll have information that Azula desperately needs, and she can't afford to ignore Ursa out of spite when so much is on the line. So perhaps she could treat Ursa with perfect, _cold_ manners, like the way Mai treats her parents. It may work, assuming she can keep herself under control and Ursa is everything Azula remembers her to be.

Too many variables, too many what-ifs. Azula _hates_ dangling possibilities.

They arrive at the camp abruptly, and too quickly for Azula's tastes. She catches a quick glimpse of the little group - there's a rock tent, inside of which is surely the little earthbender girl, and there are several other tents set up, but the Avatar, the waterbender, and Zuko are all sitting around the fire with -

Ursa.

Ursa, who looks up and whose face goes pale when she sees her.

Ursa, who stands slowly, eyes locked on Azula's face.

"Azula," her mother whispers, and then all at once, she runs forward and pulls Azula into her arms. She stiffens against the touch, but Ursa doesn't even seem to notice, running her hands through her hair and repeating her name. She is, Azula notes, crying.

Why is she crying?

"Azula, baby, Azula," she repeats over and over, and holds her so tightly that it almost hurts. "I'm so sorry, _baobei_, I'm so sorry." Finally, she pulls away and cradles her face in her palm. "Zuko told me everything," she says, and Azula wants to scream at him, but then - "I knew I was right about you. I _knew_ it." But she's saying it with such _love_, such _admiration..._ Azula glances to Zuko, to see if he has an answer, but he's not looking at them.

"Mother," she starts, and hates her voice for cracking.

"I am so proud of you," Mother says, smiling, and the reality hits Azula with the force of a lightning bolt: Zuko _lied_ to their mother.

He lied to her, to his precious mother - for her.

"There's a lot to cover," Sokka says, cutting into the reunion. "Come on, sit down," he continues, and she locks eyes with him for a moment, and it's all abruptly clear. She was wrong, before, about their plan being to get _Sokka_ into her good graces. It was always about using Ursa to bring Azula to heel, Sokka's job was merely diversion, to play the buffoon, to keep her focused on _him_ while Zuko - dumb, foolish Zuzu - got all of his pieces into position. He knew all along that Ursa was coming - _of course_, she thinks, he's in the same Order that contacted Uncle, he and Zuko must have known since before they even sprung her! - but he played the part to keep her following them right to the end of the line.

Excluding her in the letter was _bait_, she realizes with a stab of frustration - they were always expecting her to come, so that she would reunite with her mother. Zuko knows her too damn well - or is this Mai's doing? It certainly has her touches - he knows that if Ursa believes that she suddenly became some sort of angel in her absence, if Ursa accepts her and believes in her, that she will do almost anything to keep her happy - including play by their rules, for _their_ team, against herself.

Zuko has her in the palm of his hand, all with one lie to the one person he shouldn't have ever been able to lie to, the one person that he _knows_ - from direct, empirical evidence - can reach through Azula's walls and tear her down from within.

He is more like her than either of them guessed.

Azula wants to burst into laughter, or maybe tears, but all she does is smile a little bitterly and take the seat next to her brother.

* * *

"I want to know," she says coldly, and is displeased to note that Mai doesn't even look _slightly _afraid of her, "who came up with the brilliant idea to lie to _my mother_ about me."

"Well..." Sokka starts, but Mai cuts him off.

"Zuko did it so that she wouldn't think ill of you," she explains, casually sharpening one of her _sais_. "He did it to _help_ you," she continues disdainfully, "not to control you."

"Liar," she seethes, and it's Sokka who turns to her.

"And yet," he says airily, in the tone of one who knows he's won the game, "you didn't correct her, did you?"

She looks at him, looks straight _through_ him. She wishes that she could say that she hates him now, but this only makes him _more_ intriguing than before. "This was _your_ plan, wasn't it?" she breathes. "You were the one who - _you_ came up with it."

Sokka gives her a savage smirk. "I _am_ the plan guy," he replies. "Face it, Azula, you underestimated me. That's what's got you so mad."

"She underestimated _all _of us," Mai cuts in. "But then, if your enemy has a weakness, strike where he is weak," she says, and Azula takes a deep breath, jaw clenched. "That's how _you_ think, Azula. You just never expected _us_ to think like _you._"

A tiny part of her feels betrayed, the tiny part that latched onto Sokka's apparent sympathy and the tiny part that wanted to stay in her mother's embrace forever - but then, she's never been one to court self-pity. So, they played her. She underestimated them, they won - she can respect it, respect Sokka and even Zuko for how exceptionally they've plotted to bring her to heel - and now she simply has to pay the price.

But what is that price to be?

Game or no, she doesn't want her mother to know the truth about her - in particular, the truth about her breakdown, why her bangs are still uneven. She would side with Father if she thought she could trust him, but his actions on the eve of Sozin's Comet proved well enough that he sees her as a means to an end, a mere _tool_ to use in his bid for power. Uncle is firmly against her and has been since day one. The country believes her mad, incurably insane. Chunhua is the only person on her side, but Chunhua means to use her as completely as Father did.

She has no one else to turn to, she knows, and it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

* * *

A/N: I went ahead and posted this in spite of my lingering uncertainties about it. I've had the idea in mind since the start that Zuko lied to Ursa about Azula, but the execution of it fought me over and over and I just had _trouble_ writing these scenes. Tell me what you think about it, and be honest. I know there are some difficulties, like "hasn't Ursa heard about Azula's fight with Katara?" and that _will_ be answered later on in the story.


End file.
